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What about me?

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Hi everybody,

Just thought I'd drop in and ramble on for a while.

Hank is still in the hospital as of this morning, we are still hoping for further improvement, and to get him home very soon.

What I am about to write may seem selfish, because it is. I don't feel bad about this, because I know that all we humans have a good dose of selfishness in our nature. That's just the way it is.

The passed two years of my life have been all about loss. In 2006, I lost both my mom and dad. I have no brothers or sisters. I have no children. I have no living relatives. I have several good friends, but none of them live close by. I have Hank. The way things are looking, that probably won't be for much longer. I am basically retired. I have been wondering what my life will consist of once Hank is no longer here. It's going to be so lonely. I really don't have a clue what I'll do once this is over. At this point I am just trying to focus on getting through this. When Hank leaves, it will be time to rebuild my life somehow. I just don't have a clue what I will do, or how I will do it. I find it very distressing.

I almost find it embarrassing that I am posting this at all. I mean, after reading about some of the situations that some of you are facing out there, I don't have anything to complain about. Some of you are just plain overloaded with stuff that I could never imagine dealing with, and I give you all the credit in the world.

Well, now that I've gotten that out of my system, time to get myself together and get over to the hospital.

Thanx for listening guys,


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Well what about you is right and you should NEVER feel embarassed about that. You are a human being and coming to others here is what this place is for. You have been though a lot Gail, with much grace and dignity. And you will continue to do so. And later on you will find many other things and people to bring joy and peace to your life. Take very good care of yourself. Caregivers and what they are going through is so often overlooked in all of this. keep coming here for support and I hope we can help.

thinking of you


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Gail, when my dad died, my mom was at a loss. He was her life. We was a stay at home mom. Never worked after they got married. No skills, no clue.

We tossed around a few ideas -- volunteering or part time job, stuff like that. She opted to apply for a job at WalMart as a greeter. She really rocked at it. She tells people that WalMart saved her life.

She just retired last year from there. But she is now reading to kids. She likes that.

So, my suggestion is to think of things you really enjoy doing and apply them to something that will put you in contact with other people.


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You are not being selfish. It is natural to wonder what will come next. I hope you won't feel like you have to make any decision immediately. Give yourself time and for heaven's sake, take care of yourself. I repeat. . . it is not selfish.


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This is probably a very scary time for you. I think you are right to think of your future. I think your mind may be getting you prepared for what may be ahead. That is normal and it is not selfish at all.

Just looking at your picture, you seem to be a very outgoing lady. I bet you could bring a lot of happiness to a lot of people. Maybe volunteer work would be good.

Try not to worry so much..God has a plan.

Love to you,


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I cannot imagine what it must be like to have lost all but one member of your family in the past two years and now that one remaining member--your husband and best friend--is about to be lost to you, too.

Unlike those caregivers who are surrounded by family when their loved one dies, you will be alone. For you to wonder and worry about what your life will be like after Hank is gone is natural.

It's far easier to say, "Take it one day at a time," than it is to do so, but in fact, that is just about all you're going to be able to do for the time being anyway.

The main thing is that you not feel guilty or selfish about your thoughts. They are normal and natural. The alternative would be for you to turn into a zombie--incapable of thinking at all.

As I've written before, Gail, you are a rock and Hank's one lucky guy to have you!


Although we walk in the rain, my heart feels sunny inside.--Neil Young

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