Why are nurses so shaddy???

[klooty]

I understand you are supposed to trust and have faith in the nurses. But at times it is difficult to do give your trust and faith away to a complete stranger. My dad, in the hospital still, but he says the pain is getting lesser, so that is good. My dad keeps telling us to keep our eyes on what the nurses are doing and saying. Just sometimes it seems that the one nurse says one thing and then another says something totally different.. It just worries me.. I wish I could be there all the time to keep a closer eye on things... AND then there are the stories about an error and people getting hurt or worse because something was done wrong!!! I don't know... I'm thankful for them and what they do... I often wonder though, do they really care. OR EVEN, are they able to show care for one person, more than another????

AND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD... if they do make an accidently and harmless mistake could they please refrain from saying "OOPPSS"!!! That drives me nuts... You don't want to here that when someone's life hangs in the balance...

I'm not one to point a finger.. But sometimes, those nurses, make me worry about what they're doing, more than what the cancer is doing! I don't know,,, maybe I'm a small majority of people who think this way...

And for any nurses out there reading this,,, I hope I didn't offend you,, I applaud what you do,,, but it still makes me worry... So I ask questions.. I really don't hate you,, I DON'T... Take care of yourself, everyone,, including all the lovely nurses.... Bye

Adam

P.S. Not trying to produce controversy... I just worry a lot...

[lilyjohn]

Adam

No you are not alone. It is your job to ask questions and to demand answers!!!!!!!!! Don't fall into the trap that I did. You are not there to be nice you are there for your dad! Nurses do make mistakes and some of them are very caring but there are others that will do anything a doctor tells them even if they know it is wrong. I suggest you get a small tape recorder and ask questions, get answers and make sure you have names and the names of medications. Let them know what you are doing. Yoour dad will be much safer then. Best of luck. And remember good nurses won't be offended just the ones you have to worry about will. Lillian

[lilyjohn]

Adam

No you are not alone. It is your job to ask questions and to demand answers!!!!!!!!! Don't fall into the trap that I did. You are not there to be nice you are there for your dad! Nurses do make mistakes and some of them are very caring but there are others that will do anything a doctor tells them even if they know it is wrong. I suggest you get a small tape recorder and ask questions, get answers and make sure you have names and the names of medications. Let them know what you are doing. Yoour dad will be much safer then. Best of luck. And remember good nurses won't be offended just the ones you have to worry about will. Lillian

[shirleyb]

Adam,

I had to reply to this. I don't know if your family has done this or not, but get a notebook and keep it with your father at all times. Write down what medications he is taking and the timing of them. Write down any and all questions you or anyone in your family might have so that when you see the doctors you can get answers. Write down everything that goes on as far as his treatment goes. Make this your bible. It comes in very handy believe me. It saved us so much time when Randy (my hubby) had to go to the hospital or doctors. We knew what was going on without their records. Mine were better in some cases.

As far as the nurses go....for the most part I found them to be very caring. But it only takes one to give you the distrust you have at this time. Remember they are human too.

Take care of yourself and do what you can for your dad. Don't forget about your mom either. She needs you too.

Shirley

[teresag]

Adam, I'm sorry you're having trouble with the nurses where your father is hospitalized. Things are tough enough without having to worry about the nurses' competence. If you have concerns, ask to speak to the charge nurse, and tell her, as factually as you can, what concerns you. If the charge nurse doesn't fix it, go to her boss. It is their job to see to the quality of nursing care provided on the unit - they should listen, and thank you for bringing your concerns to them. Good luck.

[lilyjohn]

One of the biggest mistakes anyone can make is assuming things! Assumptions can be deadly.

When Johnny first saw a doctor he was living alone on a low income. The doctor was incomptant and he assummed that because Johnny was older and on a low income that no one would notice or care what happened to him. When his first CAT scan came back showing the posibility of cancer along with other things it was assummed that what was in his lungs was all cancer dispite evidence that it could be something else.

They assummed that they could do what they wanted and get away with it once the word cancer was mentioned.. Once the anxiety started they assummed it was the cancer not the way they were treating him. Finally they assummed that his quality of life was too bad for them to waste the effort on saving him. That was their assumptions now I will tell you mine.

I assummed that all doctors were there to work toward saving lives and seeing that a person suffered as little as possible. Before he was diagnosed I asked if some of what was in his lungs could be sarcoids or fungus. I was told flat out no before any tests were done. I assummed that the doctors knew what they were talking about. When they said he could not have radiation because he was stage IV and it would burn him too bad I assummed that they knew better than I did. I had no idea that they were only capable of giving chemo in their clinic. I assummed that they would do all they could to help him because that was their business. I assummed that no doctor or nurse would ever do anything to deliberately take a persons life. I also assummed that the medical board would quickly step in and correct any wrong doing because they are there for the publics best interest. In the end everyone assummed that because they said that he died of cancer that no one would question them or their actions. Everyone of their assumptions and mine were WRONG.

Most nurses work under staffed and under paid. They see only the records that the doctors choose for them to see. If they feel that something is not right in most cases they are afraid to question it. They don't want a reputation of not following orders. Often they assume that they are helping a patient even when they know that what they are doing is deadly. They believe that because the doctors tell them so!!

There was a time when medicine was an honorable profession. When it had heart. That was before corporations became in charge. That was before medical practice and pharmysuticals(spelling) became the largest industry in the world. Now it is money and power and social standing that come first NOT people. Yes there are still a few good doctors and nurses but in most cases their hands are tied when it comes to really working for the patients.

The most abused medication in the world is Vicodin. Doctors hand that out like giving candy at Halloween. Vicodin, Oxycodone and Oxycontin are known on the streets as the poor man's herion!!! There are other drugs that work as well and in some cases even better for pain yet they are seldon given. Delaudid is 10 times as strong as morphine in the treatment of pain without most of the terrible side effects. It is not used except in extreme and acute cases of pain mostly because the cost is so high.

There is a standard group of medications that are always perscribed no matter what the illness and in some cases when there is really no illness. I know this because I see it everyday. That is one reason why I have chose to leave my job and move on. Everytime I see someone given Vicodin, Morphine or Ativan I cringe. I know what those drugs can do! I see them given out time after time routinely.

You are very young still Adam and you are being forced to grow up far too fast by circumstances. I really feel for you and can sense your pain and frustration. I tell you all of the things I have learned because I don't want you to feel ashamed for asking questions and above all I don't want you to end up questioning yourself if something goes wrong.

Try to get your other family members to take more of the responsibilty for your dad. See if you can find a way to have one of you with him at all times. Above all if you see something that you think is wrong or could be harmfull ask questions and get an explaination BEFORE it is done not after.

I'm sure that I seem cynical but believe me I learned to be the hard way. I too didn't want to hurt anyones feelings. I didn't want people to think that I was hard to get along with and I didn't want to have them take out my behavior on Johnny. In the end those things did nothing for me or for him.

You can make a difference in your dad'd treatment and peace of mind. You just have to remember you are there for him. Let your love for him guide you and leave the nurses and doctors take care of their own problems. you have enough of your own. God Bless you and help you. Peace of mind is a valuable thing keep it. Don't let them rob you of your dad or your peace of mind. Get those answers and demand that he be treated the way you think he should be. Your dad may live weeks, months or years. No matter how long he has you have a very long time to live with yourself. I don't want to see you live with the nightmare of self doubt that I do. Lillian