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Hi everybody,

Hav'nt been posting lately, I've been trying to get my head around what has happened, and am slowly starting to feel a little better since Hank passed away. I realize it's a process and it's going to take time. It's just so weird not having him here.

I guess the hardest thing that I'm going to have to deal with is being lonely. My friend Holli from Florida has been here since Hank passed away, but she'll be leaving on Tuesday. The good news is that she has purchased a house a few blocks from mine, and she'll be moving up here in a month or so. It's really great news! Holli is my best friend from high school and has been living in Florida for 20 years or so. It's going to be great having her around again.

But, I realize that I'm going to have to rebuild my own life now. I have been searching for grief support groups in my area. It may be a good way to find some new people that I can relate to. As I told you in prior posts. Hank has been my life for the past 22 years. No family, no friends close by, so I have to construct a new life somehow. It seems so daunting, and I almost don't believe that it will be possible, but I know I have to move forward and try.

All the best,


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I have been thinking of you so much lately. I am just so sorry.

I am so glazd to hear that your firned will be moving up to be near you - hopefully that will help a lot. In the meantime, I do hope you can find a grief support group so yoy can connect with others who are going through what you are.

Good luck and please keep in touch - you know you have all of us and you always will!!

Hugs - Patti B.

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Oh Gail...........I've followed your journey these past few months even thoough I was not posting. First, I want to let you know how very sorry I am about Hank. He was so obviously the 'love of your life' and I can't imagine your feeling of loss.

What else that has been so obvious to me is the strength you possess, Gai.l I feel such confidence that many new people will be entering your life and will become a friendship circle. You seem to exude that special something that would attract good people to you. And what good fortune that your high school friend will be your neighbor. don't you take tht as an omen of good things to come?

You hang in there, Gail, and take it one day at a time......one step at a time. We are all here as your foundation as you move your way through uncharted territory.


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Hi Gail. It is good to see you posting again. And leaning on others who care about you. Sounds to me like you have already taken the few first steps in moving on. I can not even imagine what you are going through. And what you will continue to go through. That is so cool that your friend is moving there though...I would take that as a very positive sign. Please take good care and one day at a time.


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Hi, Gail.

We often write here of the "new normal" when referring to changes in our condition (or that of a loved one), but there is also the "new normal" that you're now experiencing and I can't imagine how difficult it must be after 22 years of the "old normal."

But you have been so strong and steadfast these last months that I have no doubt the same qualities will hold you in good stead in the months to come.

I don't think you realize what an impression you have made on--and how much help you have been to--so many of us here and hope that you will continue to be a part of our group, too, to the extent that you can.

Affectionately and respectfully,


I'd rather die while I'm living then live while I'm dead.--Jimmy Buffett

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I have been talking about this new normal for over 2 years now and am still in somewhat of a funk about many things. Gail I know exactly how you feel right now I have been there. Yeah there are days that are good and there are days that are bad. You will experience the whole range of emotions for a long time like I do. Hang in there. Take it one day at a time 1 hour at a time and 1 minute at a time. THings will happen for a reason.

WE are always here when ever you neeed us. THere are lots of us in the new normal stage in this life of ours..... :wink::) ((((((((Gail))))))))))))

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I so understand what you're going through. The first weeks and months are a real whirlwind of emotions and plans and just trying to take it in.

The lonliness and the rebuilding of your life are very real things that we deal with. It is a slow process that we must take one step at a time. How that process unfolds is unique to each of us.

I am just coming up on my first year mark. I can honestly say that along with the sorrow, I have had moments of true joy during this year. I have learned how strong I am, what it means to have great friends and family, etc. You have a wonderful spirit, and I have no doubt at all that you will seek out and find the joy life has to offer.

Please be prepared for some "all over the place" emotions as you go forward. It's normal -- yes, the "new normal."

I think the news about your friend moving up is fantastic.

I have found my grief groups to be of a great support -- keep looking until you find one that suits you. They offer different things at different times. If you can find one exclusively for people who have lost spouses, I think you'll find a lot of people to relate to. My "g-girls" group has been together since November, and although we're all from different backgrounds and beliefs, we have become invaluable to each other -- but even that took time.

Know that we're here -- PM me anytime.


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Hi Gail,

I am glad you posted, as I have been thinking and wondering about how you are doing. I had a hard time finding a grief support group that would fit me. Most in this area were for breast cancer, and I really didnt care if was speificaly for LC, as I doubt that there is one jsut for that anyhow. THis group only meets once a month, so I have only been once... it was ok... felt a little weird, but nice to have a place to talk about Dad.

Take care Gail, hope you find the support you need.


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Hi Gail,

Good to see you posting again and seem to be doing the best you can under the circumstances.

It will be a blessing to have your best friend so close to you. I know that will help you with your healing process as you don't seem to have family close by.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagaine the magnitude of that and pray I never have to go through what you and so many are.


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