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trip cancelled, cancer decided to make come back


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Well, since I last wrote our lives have yet again gone into nightmare mode. He had to have 3 stindts(?) put in July 28, one in the trachia and one going into each lung. Cancer has come back with a vengence. Just so fast. Chemo obviously did didly.

They started Thursday with 10 more days of radiation since that is what kept it at bay originally. In Canada we have a leave we can go on for 6 weeks with employment insurance and the company I work for have been tremendous thru all this, they are willing to give me a leave of absence.

Guess my question now is, I have had them at work questioning his time line and how much time I will need. This is a questin I have yet to ask this of his doctors and really don't want to. I guess I just don't know how people can ask me that. All I know is I have to be with him.

Don't have a computer at home, so here I sit at the library. I'll be back Monday to see what you all have to say. I have to go into work Tues a.m. to meet with H.R.

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Janette, I am so sorry to hear this news.

I hear you about the timeline. Not even the doctors really know. Every person's walk is a bit different. My advice is to ask only the questions you are comfortable asking. This is probably not the time to give you any added layers of stress. Hopefully your workplace will be understanding.

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Oh I am so sorry to read your post.... I would simply tell your employers that there is no definitive timeline.... I agree, it is kindof insensitive for them to ask that question!!!

I also agree that even the best docs can't give an accurate time line... then can just give you their opinion... I know I personally never wanted to know how much time the docs thought Dad had left... it would have seemed like an hour glass ticking away and just added more stress to what was already an incredibly stressful and sad time....

Don't look to the future, just cherish today and all that it brings.... God Bless. Love, Sharon

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Dear Janette,

My heart goes out to you on hearing this news. Bill and I never know when chemo will work, or not, and always wonder about this issue.

As for telling your employers about any timeline, that is known only to a Higher Power than doctors or medical professionals. They have been wrong so often that no one in their right mind would consider making that prediction.

In fact, my mother had stage IV colon cancer, mets to the liver, when she was 53 years old.

Her doctor told us he couldn't make a prediction about any prognosis. He said he wasn't God.

She lived 22 years longer and died of emphyzema.

Please know that since no one knows the outcome of these things, you can answer your employers with a vague and uncertain answer and be on solid ground.

Sending you my support, my caring, and my understanding,

Barbara

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I'm so sorry for all that you both have been thru. I agree completely with Barb's post and I'm thinking about you both hoping things make a turn around and get better soon.

(((Janette)))

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Janette

I am so sorry to read this post! As the others have already said, there is just no way of knowing as far as a time line. I am sorry you are having to deal with that on top of eveything else.

Please remember we are here for you.. sending many, many prayers and positive thoughts..

Christine

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Hi Janette. I am saddened to hear the update on your hubby and that you weren't able to take your trip. This disease is just simply awful for everyone. There are no easy answers and nobody can really tell you. Go with your gut..if you feel the need to be with him then that is where you should be. I am really hoping that you do not experience financial issues on top of all of this as well. But really none of that matters, just being with him if you think you need to be does. Good luck at work on Monday, I am sure your employer will be very compassionate. My thoughts and prayers are with you

Sandra

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Dear Janette,

Always "go with gut." It's the essence of our collective info - that nagging voice that says, "Keep going with . . . .".

Janette, I don't know most of the answers, but I do believe that instinctively, we have some of them in the back of our minds.

Sending you both all of my best,

Barbara

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