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A year is approaching


wondermom

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It has been a while since I last posted. A lot has happened in the last couple months. My Dad has started dating again. I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. Mostly though, I am happy that he has found someone to enjoy life with again. I know how very lonely he has been. Mom did everything for him and they did everything together. Dad really had no close friends. Yet, I am worried because it is so soon. I hope he is in this for the right reasons and not just trying to fill a space. My sister and I had kind of been suspecting something like this for a while. She noticed Dad stopped wearing his wedding band. He was acting kind of strange. Almost like he was nervous around us. It finally came out one night when my sister was going home for the night and my Dad didn't know it. He told her he was having company and when she asked what kind of company he had to tell her. My sister met her and said she is very sweet and friendly. She said Dad seemed very happy. I know my mom would want us to support him. I think she knew that he wouldn't be alone long. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if this was something they talked about at the end. I am sure my dad didn't want to even consider it at the time but I think my mom would have wanted him to know it was ok for him to move on. That is just the kind of person she was. My Dad still talks about mom and visits her at the cemetary. All of her pictures are still up at the house. It isn't like he tried to put her completely out of his mind so I am thankful for that.

I am getting ready for my daughters 3rd birthday party at the end of this month. It is bittersweet because last year mom was there and two weeks later she was gone. It was this time of year last year that things started moving fast. It is hard to remember that time. I could feel her slipping away but not wanting to lose hope. I miss her so much. Sometimes I still feel as though I am living a dream.

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Glad to hear that Dad and family are doing as well as can be expected right now! Don't be upset with Dad for dating It is a good and healthy thing to do!!!

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(((Jill))),

Reaching the one year anniversary is a BIGGIE. I remember thinking that I would be ok , but when the day came I found myself lost in thoughts of events from the year preceding. Grief is so complicated and affects us all differently. I am happy for your Dad , in that he can find the strength to reach out to others and find companionship in what is a very sad and lonely time. I'm sure he isn't trying to replace your mom , but to find someone else to share his life with. May this anniversary pass peacefully for you and yours.

Hugs,

Sue

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Hugs to you - I just lost my dad last February. It's hard to lose a parent. My sympathy to you.

I know it must be hard to think of your dad dating again. But I do know - If your mother's memory was not alive and well in his heart he probably wouldn't be dating. What I mean is - what he had with your mom was so good - he is willing to risk his heart again.

So when you think of your dad out dating...remember he truly is celebrating her LIFE and not her death.

As a widow who has recently remarried, my memories and my love for Mike has not faded. It is a testimony to our love that I am able to love again and move forward.

And don't ever feel - no matter how happy your dad may appear in the future that he for one minute has forgotten your mom. He hasn't and he won't.

Love doesn't divide. It multiplies like a single flame that can light many candles and expell much darkness. Your mother's love for your dad continues and gives him the strength and the light to dispell his darkness.

Shannon

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I'm so sorry for the sadness you're feeling. The one year mark is tough. It's especially difficult when it happens to come alongside something so happy, like your daughter's birthday.

I too can imagine that it's difficult to see your dad dating. Everyone's time table is different. Not to generalize, but from all I've read and experienced, men do tend to date again more quickly. As others have said, it's not in any way an indication that your dad has forgotten your mom or has stopped grieving. He's just trying to find hope and joy and companionship again -- to live. I think your understanding is a blessing. I would encourage you to just be open and honest with him -- let him know that it's difficult for you, but that you love him and want his happiness.

No one will ever replace your mom.

Hugs,

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(((((((((JILL)))))) Just wanted to give you a hug.

As for dating..... I think Shannon said it best. And I don't know that there is time frame as to when someone should or shouldn't date. Life is short for all of us and we only go around once. I am sure your dad will always hold a special torch for you wonderful mom. What they had no one can take away.

Happy Third Birthday to baby girl. Always remember mom is still with you and your daughter. ((((((((JILL)))))))

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Thanks everyone. I really appreciate all the support I continue to get here.

Shannon, thank you for your insight. Congrats to you on your new journey!

My grandfather passed away this weekend. He had a long struggle and a full life so there is some peace in his passing. I told my husband that I imagine there is a celebration going on up in heaven because he has been reunited with his girls (He lost another daughter when she was just a child.)

Thanks again for the support. It means so much.

Jill

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