I need to hear someones good news!!

[lilyjohn]

Hi everyone

I really need someones good news right now.

I would like to think everyone who replied to my message night before last. I was really having a hard time dealing with the first aniversary of Johnny's death.

By last night I had pretty well got myself together. I feel that Johnny gave me so much that I have to find a way to use what he gave to me. I need to live with the pain and without him but I need to LIVE! That is the only real way to honor the new life that his love gave me..

I just wasn't counting on any more bad news. When it rains it pours! How true that is. Last night Johnny's niece told me that her mom had a stroke. She has her hands full already taking care of her dad(Johnny's brother) who had a heartattack in 1990 and suffered severe brain damage. He requires full time care. I am still waiting to hear about the test results to know how bad it is.

When I got to work today I learned that one of the ladies I took care of for a while passed away this morning at 1am. She had a fall about 2 months ago and broke her hip and just kept going down hill after that. She had Alzheimers. Not the later stages but still she had a lot of problems. Everynight when she was on my assignment she would give me a goodnight hug when I put her to bed. She was very special to me.

Then tonight while I was on my lunch break I learned that an ambulance had been called to our Alzhiemers wing. Another lady that I took care of was sent there just two weeks ago when she got too bad to live alone in her apartment Tonight they found her sleeping and could not wake her up. She had no pulse. Finally they got her to wake up and she was taken to the hospital. I will learn tomorrow how she is. I can still see her with two pairs of pants on and sometimes her clothes inside out. She wore dresses that were like the styles thirty or forty years ago. She too would hug me good night. I was going to go see her but just couldn't make myself go there right now. I have so many emotions to deal with already. Now I won't get to tell her goodbye. My last day to work before I move will be Friday..

I read someones post saying that you just never know what will happen. I think that is so right. None of the people I mention here have cancer. The two ladies in the place where I work are in their ninties. Still I let myself become close to them.. I just couldn't help it. That is one disease that is just as cruel as cancer. It just robs a person of life before it takes their life.

I am hoping to change my line of work when I get to where I am moving to. I have gotten a lot from the people I care for and I hope that I have given something to them. I will always see them as the forgotten ones because so many are. It is just that for now at least it has become too hard of a job for me. Physically it is hard but emotionally it breaks my already broken heart over and over. Lillian

One of my favorite quotes:

"No man is an island entire of itself but each is a part of the continent, a piece of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea Europe is the less even as if a promitary were or a manor of thy friends or of thine own. Every mans death deminishes me because I am envolved in mankind. Send not to know for whom the bell tolls it tolls for thee." John Donne

[MO_Sugar]

Lily,

The only good news I can give you is that God loves you! He may give you burdens to bear but he still loves you. Your comapssion for the folks you care for shines through. They are lucky to have you!

God Bless,

MO

[Guest Karen C]

I agree with Mo. God loves you, and he has blessed you with the ability and the desire to help other people. Just remember what joy you brought into these dear old peoples' lives before they passed on. I'm sure they will remember it forever and so will God.

Hang in there,

Karen C.