Snowflake Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead - Go Slow." _____________ TEACHER: Where would we be today if no one had ever been curious? JOHN: In the garden of Eden? _____________ TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables! _____________ TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?" JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! _____________ TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH: H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O! ______________ TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! ______________ TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WILLIE: Me! ______________ TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ______________ TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I." ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen...Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right..."I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." _____________ TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time." _____________ TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand." (Well, DUH!) ______________ TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. _______________ TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog! ______________ TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? PUPIL: A teacher. ______________ SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this report card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 True story (A little grandmother bragging) My 5 year old grandson called his 8 year old brother a creep. My son, there father, overheard this exchange. He said to the 5 year old, "Conner, I heard that, why did you call Brendan a creep?" Without missing a beat, Conner said, "Because I forgot his name". Also, my 8 month old grandson does not do SO BIG. Nope, when you say TOUCHDOWN, up go Jack's arms into the So Big position. Grandchildren truly are grand. Ginny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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