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It's been 6 months


bam451

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I haven't been on since my mom died 6 months ago. It's just soo hard. As Sheri said in another post, it can be hard to listen to postive stories of people who are responding well to treatment, it's hard to not obsess over others stories of grief.. But I'm feeling so lonely lately. I really miss her. I was 5 months pregnant when my mom died. I ended up coming down with this rare pregnancy syndrome and had my baby two months early on Mother's Day. It was a day I had been dreading! I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through the day. But then I had Jacob.. It just makes me so sad to know he'll never get to know my mom.. She would have made a great grandma. Sometimes I don't even recognize my life anymore. So much has changed. My hubby and I moved in with my dad... I couldn't stand leaving him alone. I just feel so sad all the time. I think I hide it pretty well. I know I have a ton of family and friends who are here for me.. but after a while you get tired of talking about it. It doesnt change ANYTHING. She's still gone.

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Two comments i CAN REALLY RELATE TO. 1) Early on, I too did not recognize my life. Today, my life is slightly less foreign to me, although still at times, quite foreign.

2) My mom would have been an amazing granndmother too. And nothing gets me po'd like thinking about how we don't get to experience that.

The emotions you are feeling are normal... you will be able to identify the life you are lleading *ss yours one day, but your mom is your mom...and there isn't a better person, so of course, there will always be missing of them.

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I so "get" this too. And I agree. The "new" life that I didn't ask for was the hardest to swallow and accept for a really long time. And we are NOT the same people anymore... But Nick is right, you will recognize it again (or do we get more used to it? Probably both) I think we will always miss them- just sometimes it's more overwhelming than others. We're here for you (((hug)))

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You have to be gentle with yourself. Your Mom has not been gone that long and it takes so very long to accustom yourself to the new "normal"...

The story of Jacobs birth on Mothers Day touched my heart... you were dreading that day without Mom and I believe she sent Jacob exactly on that day to make the day special for you, not one of grief and sadness.

God Bless.

Love, Sharon

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