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remembering the good


shrimp

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I have concentrated so much on the bad, I thought it was time to show some of the good that happened. Our family doctor was wonderful, especially at the end. He is the one that arranged Hospice and got Dad's pain under control. The ER staff were very caring. There was a nurse and PCA on the onc. that sat and held Dad's hand the night we brought him in so confused. They let us go home to rest, since we had been up for 3 nights with him. They stayed and talked with him and listened to his stories about what was happening in his hallucinations. That night he was trying to save his soldiers( he was retired military) and he needed to get in a bunker and do something to save them. At home he thought we were trying to keep him from saving them.There was one nurse in rehab that was so wonderful. She was the one that skipped the onc. and called our family Dr. and got him notified of what was happening, the pain med orders, hospice orders. The onc was never seen or heard from after Dad was discharged from the hospital and sent to Rehab. I know this is a mix of good and bad, but baby steps. I am trying to focus more on the good.

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(((shrimp))),

It's good that you have good things and people to remember, along with the bad. I understand how it is to be reliving all these things in your mind. In fact, I have relived things so many times and each time, I seem to see things a little differently or remember something I had totally forgotten previously. It's all part of the grieving and the healing process. I"m just so glad for you that you can find some positive thoughts because it really does help us to heal. Another good thing is that you have people here who understand completely. Above all , be patient with yourself. It takes time.

Hugs,

Sue

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In these early days the memories will swirl and ebb and flow...try to remember them all, but indeed focus on the good. And as a healthcare worker,I recommend that you don't hesitate to send any of the above a note of thanks. I KNOW they will appreciate it and you and I both know those kind and caring individuals are hard to find and it should be recognized.

Many hugs,

Leslie

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As sad and tragic as this disease it is kind of ironiiic that it can bring out the best in people in dealing with Lung Cancer! Baby steps are the best stepps and I want to send Ya best of thoughts and Prayers always and glad you are feeling a bit better today.

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It's true that the feelings will change often, but focusing on the positive is a good approach to combat the darker days we have during our grief. Process it all, feel it all, and work thru it your way. It's a hard road.

A person told me just the other day that I honored my dad with my advocacy work...it kept his spirit alive to me. When I mentioned my mom and the lack of direction in which to focus my grief- the same person told me that just by talking about her and sharing stories about her and living a life in a way in which she raised me was honoring her memory too.

I liked hearing that. It made sense to me.

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I wish there had been time for people here to know my Dad. I read some of the posts of family that have been going through this for a while now. It feels like you know them. And even tho I am sent hugs and told to vent, we didn't really get time to bond, share stories, learn about each other, like so many of you seem to. And maybe that is why I can say things here that I won't say to my family. They hurt too much and I won't add to that. So, I guess as usual, there is good and bad, pro and con. Now I feel like I am rambling. :?

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Sweetie we are blessed to be getting to know you and in time we would love to learn more about your dad, too!

I had only 3 months from the date of diagnosis until I lost Brad to this disease. I was not a member here at that time as I had not found this site yet. Even if I had, things went so fast that there was just no time and it would have been impossible to share all of the wonderful qualities and traits that he possessed and the good things he was all about.

So, when you are up to it and you feel ready, tell us all about your dad. I, for one, will be here eager to learn more.

Hugs

Chris

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Shrimp,

I know what you mean, and yet at the same time I still look forward to getting to know your Dad through the memories you share with us! Even though he isn't with you physically anymore, there's still so much that WE don't know about him. We first met you and heard about him during such a low, scary time. When it starts feeling right to you, please share with us some things about him from the good times. I think one of the neat things about this site is that everyone seems so welcome (and wanted!), no matter where they are in the path of what originally brought them here.

Amy :D

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