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Old Fart Jokes


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A reporter was doing a story on longevity & approached one of the elderly men watching a game of horseshoes. "Tell me sir, " asked the reporter. "What type of person lives the longest?" "A rich relative" was the quick reply.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- When President Clinton visited California, he stopped at a San Jose' retirement residence to talk to some of the residents. He was up on the second floor and stopped a woman with snow-white hair & asked her, "Do you know who I am?" "No," she replied with a smile, "but if you go downstairs to the desk, they'll tell you."

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How can you tell that you're getting old? It's when your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.

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Karinsky was killed in an accident, and Berkowitz, the president of the Home-owner's association was sent to break the news to the unsuspecting wife. "be careful how you tell her" advised a friend."She' s a very delicate woman." Berkowitz knocked on the door & she came out. "Pardon me, are you the widow, Karinsky?" "Certainly not! she replied. "Want to bet?"

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Oldie, but goodie-

The groundskeeper at the cemetery heard the cries of an elderly gentleman as he lay across a grave. He was crying, "Why did you die? Oh why did you die?

"Was that your wife?" the groundskeeper asked?

"No, it wasn't my wife. Oh why did you die?"

"Was it a friend?"


"It wasn't a member of your family?"

"No, no. Oh why did you die?"

"Who's buried in that grave?"

"My wife's first husband!"

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