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My first Holidays without Alan


dchurchi

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I know it has been a very long time since my last post, but I do lurk and keep up with how everyone is doing. I just sort of needed a break for awhile. As Thanksgiving quickly approaches I feel Alan's abscence more deeply, to compound the situation my birthday is the day after Thanksgiving. So my first two big Holidays without Alan are just one day apart. Maybe that's a good thing I can get a big chunk of grieving out of the way. I just know how hard it is going to be looking at the empty place at our dinner table. In addition I will be the only one without a significant other.

My day got even worse when I found out one of my good friends here at work was diagnosed yesterday with lung cancer that has already spread to her brain. She is having gama knife tomorrow as tumor is on the brain stem. Does it ever end.

I want to wish each and everyone of you the Happiest of Thanksgivings. My prayers are always with you.

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DEb I wish I had the answers. But the best I can offer are some prayers and a hug for Ya! My birthday adn thanksgiving are the same week allso and I know how hard it is! I hope things go ok as possible for ya though!(((((((((Deb))))))))

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The holidays are hard. I don't think there is any way around it. My mom passed a year ago in September and I remember thinking about all the holidays that were fast approaching. My Dad's birthday is the day after mom died too. Prayers for you that this holiday season passes peacefully for you and that you are filled with happy memories.

I am sorry to hear about your friend too. I hope her procedure goes well.

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Deb,

We'll be thinking of you while we are going through the firsts this weekend also. Thanksgiving and then the following Sunday would've been my parents 40th wedding anniversary.......I know how much it sucks!! My mom has opted to go somewhere else this holiday. A friend gave us their beach house so we don't have to look at where my dad used to sit. We'll see how that goes. We're doing an informal Thanksgiving this year.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend and will say an extra prayer for her.

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Deb....I'm so glad to see your post. I was asking Randy about you the other day. I know how hard this all is for you right now. Holidays and special days are the absolute worst when we are missing a loved one. I wish you were on this coast and I'd have you over for dinner!!! I know how much your family loves you, so try and find some comfort knowing you have such a caring family. I'll send you an email.....Ann

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Debbie,

I don't know why holidays are more difficult - at least for me I miss the mundane day to day much more.

There are too many here that have lost loved ones and we are a group that will include us all in their thoughts and prayers tomorrow.

You will be in my thoughts. I hope you are spending Tday with family and/or friends. And go buy yourself a great birthday present.

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Debbie,

I have followed you and Alan's journey while on my own journey with my mom. You, Alan and along with a few others here gave me hope concerning my mom, for you all were such fighters and never gave in. I am glad to see you posted here after a hiatus.

I can relate to your post in many ways. This is the first holiday season without my mom. Her birthday was two weeks ago and my birthday is right around the corner, then of course is Christimas and the New Year. A year ago this time, my family and I thought our world was 'safe/normal'. Little did we know just before Christmas a year ago our safe world was lost to us forever by this disease.

In addition to my mom, and good friend of my brother's, he was only 35 years old, lost his battle to lung cancer on the same day as my mom, he was dx only two months prior to passing. And another friend of mine, his mother is currently battling. I hope your friend has success with her Gamma knife treatment, sending prayers and positive thoughts her way.

This has been a heck of a year. Like you asked, does it ever end?

I hope we all have a blessed and peace filled Thanksgiving day and upcoming holiday season.

*Hugs*

Ree

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Hi Debbi and Happy Birthday today! These are some rough days to get through. I get through it by thinking of Beverly and knowing in my heart that she would be very upset with me if I am sad. She was always happy during this time of year and wanted us all to be happy too. Still.....

I hope the days improve from here and you have much better days ahead. You know that Alan is there with you in spirit and he wants you to be happy and so do I.

Much love to you,

Bobby

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Hi Deb,

Thinking of you today, on your birthday.

I'm so very sorry for all you're going through. Last year my birthday fell on Thanksgiving and it was my first holiday without Bill as well, so I do understand the intensity and sorrow of it all. It's awful. The first "everythings" are so difficult. I hope that yesterday passed gently for you, and I hope the same for you today.

One of the things I did during last year was to get all of the cards out I had saved that Bill had given me -- I did that at each holiday and my birthday. It was hard, but also comforting to read the words he wrote and to think of the memories.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. If you need to do anything different during the rest of the holidays, don't be afraid to tell people and to do what you need to do for yourself. They'll understand.

Much, much love -- I'm here anytime you need.

xooxoxoxox

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I have been thinking about you Debbie. I am so glad that that the first part of the holidays is over for you. You will get through the next as they are coming fast and before you know it, it will be a new year. First's is so hard on anyone.

Myr heart to yours.

Maryanne

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HI Deb,

I've kept you in my prayers and I hope those "first" passed gently for you. I wish you support and surrounding love ones to help you during this time. We are always here for you. I'm sorry for what you're feeling and for everything you're going thru. I'm sending more prayers and hugs your way.

(((hug)))

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