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My father in law has been battling NSCLC for 2-1/2 years. He quit all treatment in May and has been on hospice care since July. He's on oxygen 24/7 and is managing pretty well (up out of bed every day, eating at least one meal a day, takes darvocet for pain) The hospice nurse comes every week. One lung isn't functioning at all any more, and when she listens to him breath with her stythescope, she hears almost nothing in the other lung. His vitals are good. It's all good..except that awful dread of what is around the corner. The phone rings and we are jumping out of our skin, when the caller ID shows my sister in law's phone number (where my father in law now resides), it's more fear. We HATE being so anxious and fearful. After all these months you'd think we'd have a better handle on it, but we don't. My husband and his sister work full time, and I'm a homemaker, so I go over on 'hospice day' and get the lowdown on how he is and report it back to his kids. I took him to chemo for 6 months, and to his scans, and back to chemo for another 5 months before it was decided that it wasn't helping and he ended it. I feel like I did everything I could, and yet, (this isn't logical), but it seems like I've failed him. Do others feel this way???

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I feel like I did everything I could

Speaks volumes right there!!!!! This disease is strange. It affects us in different ways. You never know what it is going to do next!!If you ahve done everything you can do then you ahve to put the test in Gods Hands. Only he knows where we will be tomorrow and no one else knows this!

You should look around in the forum, "The path less travelled". It tells a lot about things with out therapy. How life is. It may give you and dad some comfort, in sharing some of these. My fave poster in that forum was Dean Carl. he started the forum adn has a lot of wisdom and insight to offer the reader of this forrum!

Hugs and Prayers for some inner peace today and tomorrow and always!! remember yesterday, cherish today and Pray for tomorrow!!!

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I am so sorry you had need to find a site such as this but I am very glad you have joined us.

There is no easy way to deal with what you and your family are going through but just from reading your post here it is obvious that your father in law is and has been surrounded by family who love and respect him and his wishes. You can't possibly do more than that, especially now.

The best advice I can offer you now is to make the most of each and every day, leave nothing unsaid and cherish the times you can spend together.

Please keep us posted and let us know how we can help you. The Path Less Travled Forum has some wonderful posts that may be hellpful as well.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.



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Hi Denise

Sorry I do not have any words of wisdom but just wanted to welcome you to this great site. You have done alot for your father in law and by searching and finding this site, you are continuing to do more for him and your family. Take care.

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Thank you all....I will heed your suggestions....nose around this site a bit more. I was told today by a close friend that my station in life (up til now) has been to fix everything. When things go wrong, I'm the person to come to, and everyone knows it. Now here I am, faced with an 'unfixable' situation. Then she handed me a note card that said 'LET GO, AND LET GOD' ... my new mantra :) Bless you all

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Hi Denise. Sure sounds to me like you have done everything you can, and still are, in supporting your father in law. This disease sucks for all involved. I agree with Judy, you got some good advice from your friend. Welcome to this site. I am sure you have found already it can be a great source of knowledge and most of all support. Take care and please keep us posted.


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