Ann Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 My family really needs your prayers right now, as we are having a really hard time. As most of you know, I lost my sweet husband, Dennis, on December 15th, 2002. Dennis was only 49 years old and his illness and death really took its toll on our little family. My FIL was extremely bitter after he lost his son and apparently needed someone to place blame with. I guess that person was me, unfortunately. Immediately after Dennis' memorial service, it was like I never existed....after being in a family for 27 years. My FIL questioned every single decision that was made in Dennis' care and treatment. The rest of the family always let me know what a good job I was doing in caring for Dennis. In my heart, I know that he had excellent care and I believe Dennis and I together with his doctor, as a team, always made the very best healthcare related decisions. In these almost 6 years since I lost Dennis, there has been very little contact between his parents and me. I would ask my boys about them and I knew Keith had been very ill since his diagnosis with pancreatic cancer a few years ago. I would see them at family gatherings but feelings were cold, almost as if we were strangers. Now, Dennis' dad is in a hospice facility and the end is very near. Yesterday, my son called me at work and asked me to come to see his grandfather. I went, out of respect and love for my MIL. She was very receptive to my visit and very glad to see me. My son told me that yesterday morning, while still responsive, his GF told the priest that he is very concerned about being forgiven by people he has hurt....namely me. Of course, I can and do forgive him. But, he is now unresponsive and I don't know how to let him know this. I do know that he can probably still hear us speaking but just walking up and saying "I forgive you" seems so strange. At this point, I am not the person he needs forgiveness from. What should I do??? Also....I am so worried about my boys. They went through this 6 years ago and were just getting back to thinking about happy things during the holidays. My LD son said to me this morning, "Mom, I know you will probably die at Christmas time, because everyone I love dies at Christmas. So.....we really need your prayers!!! Quote
RandyW Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Wish I had the words but I do have extra prayers for YA!! Quote
Ann Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 Dennis' Dad passed away at 4:45 EST. Quote
lilyjohn Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Oh Ann I am so sorry. I know how hard you tried with Dennis' family. Please know that even if you didn't get the chance to let him know that you forgave him he knows. I am sorry that your family has to deal with this so close to that aniversary I know that you are dreading so much. Just know that you and your family are always in my prayers. We have been so connected this past few years and I know we are sisters in heart. It is hard on the grandchildren. Mine still suffer from the loss of their Paw Paw. Just try to make some happy memories for them and reassure them as much as you can. Quote
MsC1210 Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 ((((Ann)))) I am just so sorry. Please know that you and your family are all in my thoughts and prayers at this very difficult time. Many hugs and my deepest condolences Christine Quote
Flyman35 Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 So sorry to read this Ann. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. Denise Quote
shineladysue Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 (((Ann))), Of course, you and yours have my prayers. I am so very sorry your family is suffering such sadness and grief. There is never a good time , but it seems when it happens at a time that should be joyous and a time when family being together is key, it just makes it so much harder. Just know that we are here for you .Hang in there. Hugs, Sue Quote
Wendy Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Ann, Prayers to you, your boys and your ml. Wendy Quote
SandraL Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 My condolences to you and your family Ann. Peace be with you all. Sandra Quote
fillise Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Oh Ann, I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. If you have forgiven your FIL in your heart, he will know it. I hope you can help your sons find joy this Christmas--after all it is the beginning of God's promise that love never dies. Even if we can't touch it and feel it, it will live in our hearts forever. Susan Quote
SBeth Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Ann, I am so very sorry for the loss of your father-in-law and the boy's loss of their grandfather. I believe that the forgiveness he was searching for was found when he was reunited with Dennis in Heaven. I will keep your family in my prayers. Losing a loved one anytime is difficult, but there is something about the loss during the Holiday season that seems to tarnish the happiness we all want to feel when the season rolls around year after year. My love and prayers to you Ann. Quote
jaminkw Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Ann, my heart goes out to you and your boys and the other members of Dennis's family. I admire you for responding as you did to your son't request that you go visit his GF. Your MIL, I am sure, appreciated the kindness after being shut out for so long. I hope the boys are able to talk about his second great loss in their lives. Judy in Key West Quote
shineladysue Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Ann, I am so sorry for your family's loss. I somehow missed your update when I posted. You know we will be here for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family during this very difficult time. Hugs, sue Quote
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