I still get angry ...(sigh)

[KatieB]

I spent a hour today listening to another ballet-mom talk about how "bad" her parents were... Dad was too tired after working a long day to tolerate screaming grandkids and her mom had a awful habit of showing up to her house without first scheduling a visit...

Ah... I wanted to knock her sideways..... She's my age and her world is so small and revolves soley around her....

I wanted to shake her and tell her she was being selfish. I wanted to tell her her parents wouldn't always be around and that she should feel lucky and grateful.

Instead I just nodded my head, smiled sympathetically and said nothing while my left eye twitched randomly as my anxiety and blood pressure rose.

I don't know why it affected me so badly today. I know she was just being "normal". It just made me really miss my parents. As good as I had it with them- I know I was luckier than most- but today that rationale just makes me miss them more.

Just one of those kind of days I guess.

[Andrea]

I can totally get how you wanted to shake her and put her in her place. I often think that people who don't appreciate their parents don't deserve them. It is truly unfair that people like you and others who LOVE and RESPECT their parents have to lose them. I often want to punch people who act like that.

[SandraL]

I can't quite relate as I haven't lost a parent. But, I roll my eyes when I hear others complain of problems with their kids, husbands, life etc. Because they just seem so trivial in comparison to fighting a life threatening disease. And even more astounding that they would care to air those concerns when around me. Unfortunately, many people who haven't walked in our shoes have no idea really about what is important in life and what is just simply minor life issues.

I was at lunch with 2 friends awhile back. One whose husband is fighting leukemia and the other who has led quite a charmed life. The charmed life friend went on and on and on about how mad she was about the length of time they had to wait for her son to get his driver's license and how bad the system was. When she left the other friend and I just had to laugh....if that is the biggest problem you have got going on...well then you are just pretty damn lucky. Too bad she doesn't get that.

[EastCoastLadi]

you know Katie, unfortunately many people don't realize how important those around them are before it's too late. I've been guilty of that myself, I miss my dad and there were so many things I wish I could take back of things that I have said to him or not been there....

and then when I lost my husband Carlton, I looked back at all the "pettiness" and how again I wasted so many seconds, hours, days and so on of our lives together because of mere "nothing" that didn't need to be argued or thought about....

there are many DGI's( don't get it) in fact, even those that have lost still don't get it...

but we're human, and there are days that I let the "petty" things get to me...the difference is now I know and when I realize...I let it go.....

....take care

Grace

[Ann]

Katie...I know exactly how you felt. There are just so many people that still have their "perfect" lives intact and until they lose someone, they just don't get it. They can't understand that life and love is not about tangible things, how much money you have or what kind of car you drive. When we love someone and know that our lives will never be the same again and realize there is nothing we can do to bring them back, we see life completely different and realize that "things" aren't important....but the people we love are!!!

[blueeye]

Oh...I so get it. At work on Friday I had to walk away from my closest coworker. She was whining about what present to get her Dad. She said he doesn't use anything she gets him anyway. Blah, blah, blah. Doesn't she realize how badly I would love to have that dilemna again???

[KerryToo]

Whenever anyone tells me a story where they complain about their parents or in-laws, I tell them "at least they are in your lives to make you crazy! Someday, you will miss them and what they added to your lives."

They usually respond with a "Wow - never thought they would be GONE" type response. I hope that I am helping them to appreciate their family because too soon, they are gone.

I miss my folks and my in-laws - warts and all they were/are LOVED.

[jaminkw]

Katie, I'm late picking up on this post but I am so sorry you had to have that encounter. Of course it hit harder today, we're approaching the holidays. I never knew my mother and my father was mostly absentee by choice, but I have lost important people. I also know from being a counselor, that there are people who truly have a parent or parents from h#ll. But I know what you mean from the other side of the fence. One of my children is pretty attentive considering the distance, but the other is just always SOOOOOO BUSY. I think to myself, I have lung cancer. I am grateful every day I am alive and hope they don't realize too late that I've been a pretty good mom and regret all the times lost.

I am so sorry. It just doesn't seem fair that someone who has so much appreciation for her parents should be the one to lose them. Life is not fair.

Judy in Key West