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Posted

Hi! Although I've known about Lungevity for months, I finally realized there's a message board on here. And, I think I need to finally admit that I need some support.

My Dad is 58 and has SCLC. I'm 30 and haven't had to deal with anyone with a serious illness before this. My grandparents had all passed away long before I was born, except for my mom's mother, who's still with us and pretty on-top-of-it, at 87.

My biggest problem is that I'm 800+ miles away from my Mom and Dad, and as the fates would have it, we had just moved away from them only about 9 months before his diagnosis in April 2008. So, needless to say, I feel somewhat helpless, and because I'm not there everyday (like Mom) or every week (like my sister), I am in a certain state of denial.

I am always the optimist, when it comes to the bigger picture, and I might even say that, in the past, I have ignored things (like a best friend's parents' divorce) b/c I didn't want them to be true. So, I'm looking to acquire the wisdom of all of you that are dealing/have dealt with a loved one with LC. In my mind, Dad will be one of the 16% that are 5+ year survivors and I hope that I am right. But, I know that I have to face the reality of the situation, as well.

Thanks, in advance, for all of your help!

Posted

I am very sorry about your father's diagnosis. If you go to the SCLC forum there is a post near the top (a sticky) about beating small cell lung cancer. I think the title is something like "how I beat SCLC" but you'll find it. There is a lot of good information that you could copy and paste into an e-mail for your mom and dad. Even from afar you can help with researching things for them.

I hope your dad does well with his treatment. Keep us posted on how he does.

Rochelle

Posted

Hi GardenLady. Welcome to the boards. I am so sorry to hear about your dad but you have come to a great place for info and support. There is nothing wrong with admitting you need support. Like Ry said, go to the SCLC forum and read, read, read. Keep posting and ask lots of questions. There is a lot of knowledgable people here.

Keep us posted on how everything is going.

Denise

Posted

Welcome. Glad you decided to speak. This is a tough disease on the patient and the family. Did they tell you if he was Extensive or Limited? Is he on Chemo now? Usually it is recommended they have brain radiation for this type tends to spread there, the radiation is preventative.

I know some long term survivors of SCLC, it really is sensitive to chemo. Keep us posted with an update.

Donna G

Posted

Hi Garden Lady and welcome to this site full of kind people who are supportive and knowledgeable. I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I understand how helpless you must feel being so far away. I am sure you will provide your mom with lots of support as she will need it. Family members/caregivers are often overlooked for their support needs. The best you can do with being so far away is to phone and talk to your mom and dad. Hopefully you will find some gems of information here that you can pass on. Yes, you do need to be realistic, but HOPE is a huge part of being successful in fighting this disease. I pray that your dad has a successful treatment plan and is one of those, as we wish we all could be, long term survivors. Take good care

Sandra

Posted
Hi! Although I've known about Lungevity for months, I finally realized there's a message board on here.

The message board was a separate site (Lung Cancer Support Community) until 6 or 7 months ago, so when you first came across Lungevity, perhaps it didn't have the board.

Even at a distance of 800 miles, you can still be a lot of help to your parents and sister. How is your dad doing right now? Is he currently on treatment? Another terrific website, for more technical medical questions, is cancergrace.org (GRACE — Global Resource for Advancing Cancer Education). The site has a wealth of information, primarily on lung cancer, constantly updated by a Seattle oncologist who is an internationally-recognized expert on lung cancer and who gives high priority to promptly answering questions online. A lot of us are "dual citizens" and have the same usernames there as here.

Best wishes and Aloha,

Ned

Posted

Garden Lady, sorry you had to find us but you'll be glad you did. About denial, a lot of us have it to some degree, but don't let it keep you from keeping contact with your family back home. They need to know you care and you need to stay involved. It's o.k. to be an optomist but be careful of that. I think it works best if you acknowdge the person's feelings first, no matter how negative they sound to you, and then come in with positive or hopeful ideas. If you come right in with everything is going to be o.k., they'll probably tune you right out. Good luck with all this. It's a rough ride but many here will help you through it.

Judy in Key West

Posted

Thanks for such a warm welcome!

To answer a few questions...Dad has extensive SCLC. They were originally looking at the pancreas and liver b/c of the masses, but fairly quickly found it was LC. Also, Dad has gone through one round of chemo, so far. He was doing great following that, but then wound up in the hospital a few weeks later, for what they thought was pneumonia. It wasn't. He had another mass, but around his trachea (apparently that looks similar to pneumonia). He just finished up radiation to target that mass on Friday. So, now it's resting time until they estimate more chemotherapy for after the New Year.

He said he feels that radiation has been much worse than chemo. And, mom says that seems to be, since he's hardly eating (and therefore, hardly taking his pills)...he seems WAY more tired.

Hopefully the break and good, but small, holiday festivities will lift his spirits.

Posted

Welcome,

There are many of the "children of" here who can support you through your care giving to your dad...even if it is from far away.

My experience is not with caring from a long distance, but I was 31 when mom was diagnosed. Sorry you have found yourself here, but now that you have, know it is a good place to find info and support.

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