Jay Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 I'm sorry everyone. I feel bad for not being around for so long. I haven't checked my mail and I haven't checked the forum. If you guys could give me a small update on how things are I would really appreciate it. I had been feeling sick for quite a while. I went to a regular check up and it seemed like I was doing just fine. I still felt sick, tired and my whole body hurt, specially my back but I didn't think it was important. Anyway, I won't make the story long. I had a bone scan a couple of weeks ago and I just got my results yesterday. Bone mets. I don't know why this is happening, I think I'm confused at the moment. I had so many questions for my doctor yesterday but I was blocked. I didn't think of them till I got back home. How can this happen? I had Chemo and I don't have brain mets now... I don't understand it. I suppose is just luck? But do I have such bad luck? Sometimes I'm grateful my mom isn't here, that way she doesn't have to see me go through this. I can't have a girlfriend because I can't do this to her, being sick, what kind of a boyfriend I would make? And I really liked this girl I was dating, but I just can't right now. I don't want to do anything I don't want to see anybody. I just need to think. What's going to happen next? Chemo is the only thing that I can think of. Is that it? Do I have to hang to the chemotherapy and just wait and see? I'm still turning 20 on February, and 21 the other year and 22 the year next to that. I just wonder how I'll do it. I'm selfish, I've just been thinking of myself when all of you have been concerned about me here. I don't forget about any of you though. Bone mets. The word doesn't scare me, even the thought of it is OK. What scares me is the "What happens next?" truth is, I have no fu**ing idea. My arm really hurts, I was playing football today (I'll do it while I can) and I fell hard, so I hope I didn't break anything, that's all I need now. I'm starting chemo this Friday to prevent it from spreading and get rid of what I have right now. I hope it works, but if I must be honest, I don't think it will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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