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Posted

They have pretty much told him he has cancer, will be going into the dr for further testing on wednesday... I am very very close to my dad, I dont know how to deal with this, what are ways to make it through with out going insane...?

Posted

The hardest part is the beginning and lots of people get involved in the mechanics of what happens next. It's a good distraction and is actually helpful down the line. You get to bounce off people here with similar experience who can help you with side effects and such. Codiie, the main thing you have to keep in mind is that cancer is not an automatic death sentence today. Keep reading here and you will find many long time survivors.

My best wishes to you and your family.

Judy in Key West

Posted

Hi Codie. I am so sorry to read about your dad and your need to be here. As Judy said, the absolute worst is the beginning. Hearing the word cancer, and not knowing all the what nexts. Once you find out more and get a treatment plan in place all will start to feel a bit better I promise. Remember, cancer is not a death sentence and there is always HOPE. You will read of much hope and many survivors here. And we are here for support and to answer any questions you might have. Hang in there. Everything seems to take so long to begin with. But then it will all fall into place and everyone will get into fight versus panic mode. Please keep us posted on how you and your dad are doing.

Sandra

Posted

Welcome. One thing you have done right is find us. We have been through this and know what you are going through.

Take it one step at a time. Take notes, ask questions. We are here and will support you.

Donna G

Posted

Thank you all for your support, its very hard.. I will let you all know what happens at the drs tomorrow, he is also getting some kind of scan, cant remember the name of it... I am glad I found this board too.. hopefull I can get him on it as well...

Thanks again

Sandy

Posted

Welcome Sandy

You will find great support from members here. We have all been where you are now. As other's have said, once a plan is in place, it will give you something to focus on.

Posted

Hi Sandy and welcome. I am so sorry to hear about your dad, but you have found an incredible source of help, hope and support. Please let us know how things go at the appointment. I'm sure you will have a plan in place soon, which will help a great deal. Shelley

Posted

Well, dad had his appointment on Wednesday, and it is confirmed he has cancer, so far the lump in his lung that was detected is only 3cm. He had his PET scan today, and we will have to wait until either Monday or Tuesday for the results.. I do feel better now that the initial shock has gone, but still very sadden over this.

When growing up, my dad and I were to alike, so we were always at odds, or just didnt talk to each other much.. I got married and moved out at 18.. things were okay, but not very close.. I had my first daughter at 22, and after that things got so much better, then when my daughter was about 9 months, he had a small heart attack... I turned out good, and since then he has been the picture of health, always active and doing things, my mom and him are avid golfers they retired about 9 yrs ago and have been in California ever since.. come up for summer visits.. We have been close ever since the heart attack, which is only 16 short years... So I am keeping my fingers, toes and everything else crossed in hopes that that was the only tumor in his body..

Does anyone know if they tell you anything at all after the PET scan, or do you have to wait till the dr appt..? Just curious.. thanks everyone.. you are a very inspiring bunch of people... :D

Posted

Sorry no one got back to you sooner what with Christmas and all. The timing for the results of scans is variable. Some of us get it same or next day and others have to wait as long as a week. The wait is the worst.

I am sorry the cancer was confirmed but glad it sounds like it might be early stage. I am also very glad you and your dad made your peace before this happened. I think that always makes it worse if we are at odds with a person when this tragedy strikes. Be glad and keep that relationship going so you have no regrets down the line--hopefully way down the line when your father goes from old age not cancer. That's what I'm hoping for and I'm IIIb.

Judy in Key West

Posted

Hi Codie. It does sound like you are on the right track. Yes, unfortunately many of us have to painfully wait for those test results. But they are so very helpful in fighting this disease accurately. Please keep us posted.

Sandra

Posted

Well new News for today... They got a call about an appointment with the surgeon on

1-06-09, Being as their dr told them, that they would not do surgery if the cancer had spread, so they are taking that as a good sign... I am hoping as well... thanks for all your well wishes and prayer, you have helped me through this, and have given me hope... Have a Happy New Year....

Posted

Hi Codie. Yes, I would hold out hope that an appt with a surgeon is a good thing. Besides actually removing part/all of a cancerous lung, surgeons also do other minor surgery like a thoroscopy or a mediastinoscopy, to help determine the staging of the cancer. So the visit to the surgeon could be a conversation around that. This staging will help determine what possible treatments option are, including lung removal. So keep hoping and praying that whatever tests are done will not preclude surgery as an option.

Has your dad had a bronchoscopy? That is another common procedure that is done to help determine staging but I think usually done by a specialist other than a surgeon. I had all 3 procedures done to determine where I was at.

Best of luck at the appt

Sandra

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

well the news is not good, his lymph nodes are all enlarged, he is getting a biopsy on Thursday, to see what stage and how far along it is.. I am writing this as I am crying, this is so hard to take, I really want to see him before he goes through all the radiation and chemo, I want to take a walk with him, go golfing (his favorite sport), talk to him.. with this recession, I have no savings to get a ticket... I am just distraught over it all..

Please Please keep him in your prayers, he and I could use them right now.. I know I shouldnt look at the worst of it all, but I deal with people with cancer everyday and see what happens and what you all go through.. It is very hard to stay strong, I have a hard enough time with the patients, I get so close to them all...

Thank you all, you are wonderful

Sandy

Posted

codie, I'm so sorry but please do not give up hope. If you work in a hospital, you see the sickest of patients with cancer. Look at my picture. This was taken since I was diagnosed and had six rounds of mega chemo. I was dx'd IIIb. There is hope.

I do think the worst for you is that you want to see your dad. Did you ever think of contacting a social services agency to see what possiblities there might be for a hardship airline ticket.

Hang in there and keep posting. We'll help if we can.

Judy in Key West

Posted

Sandy, if I didn't welcome you before, my apologies, and welcome! When you find out, let us know the specific type of lung cancer (if that's confirmed), whether or not it's spread outside of the chest, and what treatments are being suggested. Those details will ring lots of bells around here and get you some tailor-made information. Best wishes and Aloha to you all,

Ned

Posted

Hello Sandy,

Sorry to be so late here, but just read your posting about your Dad's diagnosis.

My husband was diagnosed four years ago with Stage IIIB, and was deemed inoperable.

The photo alongside was taken two years after his initial treatments. He still looks very good, and has survived many treatment regimens, including WBR (whole-brain radiation).

As others have said, "You have come to the right place." There is a lot of information here.

The members here are wonderfully supportive.

When I first learned of Bill's diagnosis, my heart sank to the pit of my stomach, and I was at a loss as to what to think.

Now, after walking this walk, we are both here to go over to the oncologist's office today to see what is next on the agenda for Bill.

Hope you get the chance to get that ticket. There should be some avenue to achieving that through some airline, or social agency.

Barbara

Posted

Morning, all your stories are so wonderful and the outcomes give me lots of hope.. I would really love to see my dad.. that would probably ease most of my fears and anxiety. But as of this morning, they said they dont want any of us kids to come down.

Which breaks my heart, I want to do those things with him and once he starts treatment, he will not feel like that.. I know that may be selfish, I want to defy them and go anyways... What would you all say, how did you feel about that kind of thing.. I pray and hope he will pull through this, with all my heart, but what if he doesnt then I lost my last opportunity to see him healthy and in good spirits... ugh... so am I selfish, or am I thinking in the right direction.. at this point I am so confused at what to do...

Again thank you for all you guys are doing for me... this is such a wonderful place...

Posted

Hi codiie,

I would ask yourself, what is the greatest way to demonstrate your love for Dad? The answer that is in your heart is the right answer. It may or may not be what YOU want..only you can be honest with yourself and answer.

I do have experience with this type of situation, but that story I don't think matters for your decision making process.

That said, sorry you and your dad and family have ended up in this spot...we understand. And we'll be here.

Posted

Well dad had one of his biopsy, they are doing 2 I guess, todays was the lung, next week will be the lymph nodes..

well after the biopsy, his lung was not closing up fast enough, so air leaked into his chest cavity.. the have a tube

in to help get the air out, and his lung did colapse.. just one more thing for him to endure.. he is staying over night

in the hospital to make sure his lung seals back up.. the hospital is so full, he has to stay in the procedure room.. that

is so sad... But on a good note, at our hospital, we have a special needs fund, that we always raise money for and it is

used for the hospital employees during times of need... Well one of my coworkers told them my story and today I was

given the gift of $500.00 for a ticket and expenses to go see my dad...

This was so over welming, I just broke down and cried.. my sister also has companion flight discounts and it looks like

we may go down together around the 18th of this month.. (Oh, with my parents blessings) My stress level has gone down a lot, still worried, but much

better now..

Thank you all so much for your prayers and well wishes, they really do help, and look what they did for me...

what a wonderful place to be a part of...

Hugs to you all

Posted

OMG Sandy that is fabulous news!! That you will get to go see your dad that is. It sucks that your dad has one more thing to endure but I am so happy for you. My heart just leapt for joy when I read that they gave you the money for a ticket. I'm praying for good results and that he will be able to get a treatment plan in place soon.

((((Sandy))))

Denise

Posted

Sandy, I am overjoyed. I knew it, I knew there was someone somewhere who would help! One thing I've learned since I was dx'd was to have more faith in people. If people know yoiur story, they will help.

I also suspected your anxiety level would go down if you could see your dad. Glad your parents gave you and your sister their blessing. I'm sure they didn't want you to come if it was going to be a financial burden or a debt. Three cheers on that score. Now to get your dad stabilized. I am so sorry the procedure didn't go more smoothly. Let's hope things look up from here. Keep us posted.

Judy in Key West

Posted

I am so happy that you are going to see him and everyone is on board...this is a best case given the situation.

It is wonderful when family really comes together at this time...you'll all be great support for eachother...the ticket $, that is just a great blessing.

Posted

Well, dad is still in the hospital, not getting any better. He cannot get his oxygen count

above 85% on his own.. with the oxygen he gets up to 93%.. He is seeing a lung expert tomorrow... dont know why he is not healing.. his breath is very short and he runs out of breath really fast.. then he starts coughing as well.. It was confirmed with the biopsy that it was cancer, just dont know the stage right now.. I guess they are more worried about the lymph node biopsy, because witht he one in his lung, they can operate, and viola' thats gone.. so now another wait and see game.. ugh dont know how you all did this.. still no confirmed date on when to leave.. still hoping for next sunday..

Hugs Sandy

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