Jump to content

The silver lining


Debaroo

Recommended Posts

OK, OK. What am I doing posting in good news? Dad Dx NSCLC, Mom Dx ovarian cancer (got the word today)-chemo to start soon. But, Heres the good news:

I've had it pretty damn good, despite all of this, I STILL have it pretty damn good. :D I had a really good childhood :D:D -money was tight-but the love was always ready to be doled out. And still is. I intend on giving my children the same.

I mean, I have SO many friends whose parents are "healthy" right now, and I STILL wouldn't trade off for anything in the world-friends whose childhood were not so loving, and, well, not so happy. Who am I to complain? My parents were, and STILL ARE, GREAT PARENTS. Sick, yeah, but still great! Aunts, Uncles, friends, YOU GUYS-have been so wonderful and supportive.

So, who am I to be complaining? I don't expect to coast through life. God has given me SO MUCH to be thankful for-my parents, my sister, my husband and children, extended family-grandparents, everyone...to be anything less than grateful would be like slapping God in the face.

I have no idea how things will go. What lies ahead. Is it alot to absorb? Absolutly, but the road has been smoothe for so long-and I can't forget that. I remember a line in the book "The Color Purple" where one of the characters said "I think when you walk by the color purple, and don't notice it, it pisses God off...God just wants to be noticed..." That is exactly how I feel. Look at all that is going on in the world.

So, my GOOD NEWS is-that despite all that is going on with my parents health, I'm determined to remember that I have had it really good for a long time, and I am determined to be happy and appreciate that fact. My parents have been great to us, and its payback time. Thats just how it goes. And thats fine with me. Of course I'd PREFER that they not be sick, but all things considered-you never know what you'd be hit with if you got your wish to trade off your problems with someone elses. Its just not worth it. I'm lucky, thats my good news. I have always been loved by my parents and family, I have wonderful friends (that includes you guys). And, apparently, I never fall short of things to say :lol: . My GOOD NEWS is that I can still see the beauty in life; hear the laughter, I just have to squint a little, and focus my attention more. But its there....it ALWAYS HAS BEEN. Take care, Deb

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Deb, A powerful message there, Deb!!

I've always said getting what you wished for, isn't all that it is cracked up to be. My joy was when I wanted something. Unfortunately, my 1st husband never understood that the wanting was what I wanted. He always got whatever I said I wanted. I finally said I wanted a brand new 57 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud. I have cherished that "want" for the past 30 years!! :lol:8)

JudyB

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Deb,

You have the best attitude...your parents did a GREAT job!! Thats why I wrote to you a few weeks ago....you were so supportive ...THANKS! Also my husband is GYN physician on LI if you have any Ques or Concerns.

Your family is in my prayers

Lynn

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest DaveG

Deb:

You know what, you have been missed, but with your absense and your return, you come right back here your old self, just full of all this good stuff and all this good news.

Not only do you have your physical family, in your mother and father, but here you are with your extended family that crosses all kinds of boundaries and barriers. You know what, we could care less how many boundaries and barriers there are, because we share so much in common. (And if I keep this up, I'm going to cry.)

I certainly know where I am going to spend my time, over the next week, when I am not out on the golf course.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ouch Deb....a double whammy....but you are SO right....

You can lament about all you don't have....or sing praises for all the things you have.

I'll be praying for you and your parents in the days to come.

I know I have had similar thoughts about Mike since his diagnosis. There is an old saying - "I would rather have loved and lost than to have never loved at all".....

Mike may leave me a young widow...But we have had almost 32 years of marriage and I HAVE BEEN LOVED.

What a blessing that has been.

Hugs to you Deb and to your parents,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Deb,

You are so right, it almost seems as though you pulled those words from my own mouth. Like you, I've had it great. I've had things go VERY smoothly my whole life. My parents, siblings, friends, spouse (Yes, you Rick) and son are GREAT. I even have two dogs and a fish that I swear does tricks for me. Smooth sailing.... Never experienced a death in my family, no close friends have died or been seriously ill....I went for so long after Dad's dx. thinking...why us? Why now? WHY?

I still don't have any answers, but I think with time being so precious now and that my eyes, my eyes catch everything, my soul records it and my heart recognizes it all. I "see" life so clearly now. All the things we didn't praise before and took forgranted to always be "smooth" sailing... are now balancing a tightrope.

I loved your post. Have nothing more to say except, you are SO right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Debaroo, thanks for the sharing of your thoughts and feelings. It is great that you can look back and see all the blessings and positive things in your life. I lost both my parents when I was in my early twenties, so I envy those of you who have had your parents for most of your adult life. Count your blessings! Don

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Deb,

What a great post! Like a breath of fresh air... You are a really strong and amazing person. You have a great way of looking at things and your sense of humor is so refreshing. It is trully a gift to be able to put things into this kind of a perspective.. It is so good to hear from you. I was just thinking tonight.. hmmmmm.. Wonder how Deb's doing? :D

Laurie :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:lol: Wonderful words to share! Thanks for brightening my morning on this gray day.

This is part of a post of an email that was sent to me:

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. Sing like nobody's listening. Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

Hugs those cute kids. Will you find us a picture?

gail

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So well said! We all need to remember to try to be grateful for what we have! Like Shannon, I try to remember that Hugh and I met in 1976 and have been married for nearly 24 happy years. I remember when I told my mother we were getting married she was NOT happy. She liked him but didn't want me to marry him because he is 12 years older than I am and she warned me that I would be a young widow. You see, my dad was 7 years older than her and he died at 51 of a sudden heart attack. Even though she led a very full life, she was very lonely without him. We lost her at age 71 about 8 years ago to an undiagnosed strep infection. (hard to believe that could happen isn't it?) Now, at 47 I remember that conversation at least once a day. But, your post reminds me to be grateful for the time Hugh and I have had, I wouldn't have changed a thing even if I could have seen the future way back then. I hope God sees fit to give me Hugh for many more years, if not I will remember to thank him every single day for giving me Hugh for as long as he did and to thank him for our children - his, mine, and ours - and our grandchildren, they are a tremendous blessing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Deb, my name is Tracy and I am new to this board. I just wanted to say thank you for posting this topic. My dad was diagnosed just last week (pancoast tumor...thats all I know at this time because my parents didnt digest what they were being told at the doctors..) and I have to admit that my first thoughts were of all that I will miss out on if I lose my dad. I am only 25 and dream of my dad walking me down the aisle someday. But then I read your post and it made me stop and realize you are exactly right...I have GREAT parents and such a loving family that even if I should be unfortunate to miss out on certain life experiences I truly have had remarkable ones thus far.

Thanks for making me realize just how fortunate I am.....even if we are experiencing this crisis.

God bless.

Tracy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Deb,

Good to hear from you, and such postiveness!!!! You are truly amazing!!!:)

I am right with you, I wouldn't trade my life for anything. Parts of it have sucked, lost my Dad way too young (age 53), but he was the best Dad I could have ever asked for. And now my mom being sick. THat sucks, but it has made me appreciate her more than I could have ever imagined.

Then I look at my daughter and realize what a true blessing she is. My good friend just lost her baby girl at 37 weeks. :cry:

Sometimes these things as horrible as they are remind you of all the good things in life and just how lucky you are.

Keep up the good spirits and remember we are all praying for you and your family.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.