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Quit smoking

Yorktown Linda

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My 26 year-old daughter smokes. When I ask her to quit she says: You quit 30 years ago. A lot of good that did you.

I point out that her grandfather died of lung cancer, I have it, and she needs to do all she can to lower her odds.

What else can I tell her? Is there anything that will get her to stop if she's just not ready?

Any ideas gratefully appreciated,


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You quit 30 years ago, was it because of something someone said or something you just decided? If it wasn't someone's advice that flipped YOUR quit switch, you probably can't switch hers.

I don't think that constantly dwelling on it will help, and may just drive a wedge between you. If she doesn't see a connection, she's not looking. Double-whammy, family history AND a smoking history...

BUT, all the research in the world won't make an argument with someone who doesn't feel they need to quit.

Let her know a final time how you feel, how important she is to you and how much you wish she could learn from your mistakes and not make her own, and then bury it. I would, however, insist that she not smoke in your presence nor in your house.

Good luck, may the light of reason shine on her and she begin the process of quitting ASAP.


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She knows in her heart that she needs to quit. But unfortunately will do it when she is ready despite what anyone says. Many of us here know that. Best advice I can give you is to let it go and pray that she decides on her own. It must be so hard for you and I am so sorry.


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I know it is difficult trying to get your daughter to quit when you are aware of the risk. My Mother passed away from lung cancer. Myself and my younger brother kept telling each other we should quit. Our older brother passed away from lung cancer. Again we kept telling each other we should quit. I quit the morning I was going in to have half my lung removed because of lung cancer. I knew I should quit because of the risk with L/C in the family but I still didn't until it hit me.

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Tom was a smoker for 55 years. He kept telling me he would wuit when the doctor told him to quit. Well need less to say he had his last cigarette 12 hours before having a quadruple bypass 5 years ago. It is very difficult to quit and he tried a few times in the first few years we met. He always went back after a couple of weeks.

Tom also has a history of cancer in family as well. You can't force it though. They will quit when it the right time for them.

Good luck.


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This educational web site has an educational course for doctors and nurses to help people quit smoking. It is not above ordinary peoples heads so read it and see if you learn something from it.

Go to the left of the page and click on CME programs ( Cont Medical ED program) then scroll down and click on quit smoking .

Donna G


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Same thing here. It's hard for me to watch anyone smoke, and even harder to watch my son and two step daughters do it. My son is now 35, and rapidly approaching the age where smoking starts to rain its damage on you.

Strangely, my sister quit smoking the same month I did, with neither of us knowing the other was quitting. After my diagnosis, she went in for a scan, which thankfully, was clear.

The money thing is, indeed, a good motivator. When I quit cigars, five and half years ago, I used the money I had been spending on the cigars to make payments on a new boat. I named the boat, "No Cigar".

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I quit five days after my dx in 1/07. Five days later, my daughter quit. Two months later, she began smoking again--with a 'tude--and hasn't stopped since.

I tried to talk to her ONCE and if anything her 'tude got worse so i just shut up and accepted that she was suicidal. :(

If she quits again, it won't be because of me, but only because of herself. I just hope it won'tbe AFTER she's dx'd with lung cancer.


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.--George Carlin

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As you asked in your post, nothing will stop her until she 1) wants to quit and 2) is ready to quit.

My mom (diagnosed in 2006) quit around 1988 after she was suffering with severe COPD, and even as I watched her struggle to breathe over the years, I continued to smoke until about a month before her diagnosis.

Smoking is such a powerful addiction - one that is very hard to overcome, even when we see what it has done to our loved ones.

You have planted the seed with your daughter, and hopefully one day, she will find the will to quit.

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It's something that each person has to decide for themselves.

My Dad watched his mom pass away from LC, after years of her smoking, and he still never quit. He has SCLC now, at 58, and is still smoking. My Mom says that he'll keep smoking until he can't lift his hands anymore. Some people are just THAT addicted.

Enjoy your daughter and realize she'll quit when she's ready...don't cause a rift b/t you b/c of it. I'm not saying to enable her and buy her cigarettes, though! Enabling is different than agreeing to disagree.

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  • 2 weeks later...

When I started smoking at 13 yrs old cigs were a 25 cents a pack. All the cool kids smoked, all the cool people in the movies did too. I finally stopped the day they removed my upper left lobe and I got my dx. Towards the end of my smoking I felt stupid, all the money almost $5 a pack, how terrible they now know smoking is for you. I don't think people look "cool" anymore. Not to mention how smelly it is! Yuck! I wouldn't date somebody that smoked. Maybe if she starts to see smoking in a differant light?

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There is no one who would have convinced me to stop smoking.

My own mother, gasping for air with severe COPD, didn't have an impact on my addiction to cigarettes. My heart broke as I watched her try to breath. Still, it didn't sink in about my own smoking. That is how powerful the addiction is.

She told me, only weeks before she died (from the effects of emphyzema) that she loved me, and wished I would quit, "Because" she said, "this is a filthy disease."

That was her description of COPD. Almost ten years following her death, I gave them up. The motivation for me was partly the money, a cough I had been developing, and we had just adopted a little kitten from the shelter.

I told myself my life would be so much nicer if I stopped. Also kept self talking (in my head) about my great big achievement. 8)

Thankfully, Bill gave them up around the same time. This house, our clothing, and our now two little cats do not have to smell like ashtrays.

It didn't prevent Bill's lung cancer :( , but at least he has been able to get through the chemo regimens in pretty good shape.

As has been said by many, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do - but very rewarding to be free of cigarettes. Now, wild horses couldn't drag me back to that addiction.


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