KatieB Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 It's been a pretty tough day. For some reason I thought this day would be better than the "firsts" were, but it was hard too. I think maybe because I had a pretty decent year compared to the "first" year, and all the things I had built up inside decided to rush out on this day. I don't think I mentioned my grief therapist (the type of help I resisted subbornly after my dad passed away 5 years ago and JUST decided to seek in May of 08 ) released me two weeks ago- said I had found ways to cope with my stressors and anxiety and that I didn't really need him anymore. Told me to keep in touch.... I guess that means I've graduated..... But this day's been pretty tough..... I went to the cemetary to put flowers and talk to my parents. I drove by our old house and sat there and looked at it a while. I stopped my an old friend of my moms I did not keep in touch with...she looked so much older than just 2 years ago- and she wept when she saw me...which made me weep too.... I guess there is a severe downside to being close with your parents and having your mom as your best friend....when it's gone it's brutal. It's lonely. I really miss her. I miss them both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patti B Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 (((((((((Katie)))))))))) I am so sorry. We love you and we care. Hugs - Patti B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flyman35 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 (((((Katie)))))) Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatlemike Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Katie,My thoughts are with you on this difficult day. I hope you may find some joy in your memories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Thinking of you, Katie... many, many hugs and prayers... Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Hugs Prayers AND Positive THoughts! I hope Your sunshine comes out tomorrow and Ya have a Blessed Day!!!(((((((((((((((Katie)))))))))))))))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Katie, I think the second anniversary can be worse than the first. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Praying that you have better days ahead and can gain strength from fond memories. (((((((Katie))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeth Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Katie, I am so sorry. I can hear your pain in the word you write. I am thinking of you, praying for you and hoping that the new day brings you some peace. Much love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 That is the irony...the blessing of being close to your parents results in such pain later. I can still remember how upset and shocked I was...been thinking of you, Katie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloesmom Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 My thoughts are with you Katie. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 (((Katie))), My heart goes out to you. Hugs, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wondermom Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Katie, I am thinking of you. It is so hard. I wish there were words that could make it better or easier but there are none. Praying for better days. Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovesLife Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 (((Katie))) I am so sorry for the pain. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Katie, I'm so sorry I didn't get back on the site last night so I missed your post. I can relate to the therapist thing. I remember thinking I got fired from counseling and came to think that should be the client's choice! No matter the difference in the number of years each of your parents have been gone, every year you have to remember their passing within less than five months in YOUR life. That's a lot. I do understand what you are saying about the price you pay for being close to your parents. My son and I, born on the same day, were very close. No so much so now. I know he loves me but he has a very demanding life. My daughter and I were always very close and remained so through my dx and early days of my cancer treatment. Unfortunately, she appears to have pulled away. I see her making a much greater effort to create a life without me. I understand but I feel the loss. I can only guess at the pain you feel at the loss of your parents, but you sucked up all the love before they were gone and now have no regrets. That's huge. Judy in Key West Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Katie a grief councelor can help you learn to cope but they can't take the pain away. When you love someone and lose them the pain becomes a part of you. Yes as time passes it will get easier but there will always be times just like with Randy when one little thing sets you off and you are back to day one. We pay a heavy price to love but I can't even imagine life without love. Take care Katie and know that you are really no different than anyone else who has lost a loved one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 ((((Katie)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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