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lost my mom two years ago today


KatieB

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It's been a pretty tough day. For some reason I thought this day would be better than the "firsts" were, but it was hard too.

I think maybe because I had a pretty decent year compared to the "first" year, and all the things I had built up inside decided to rush out on this day.

I don't think I mentioned my grief therapist (the type of help I resisted subbornly after my dad passed away 5 years ago and JUST decided to seek in May of 08 ) released me two weeks ago- said I had found ways to cope with my stressors and anxiety and that I didn't really need him anymore. Told me to keep in touch....

I guess that means I've graduated.....

But this day's been pretty tough.....

I went to the cemetary to put flowers and talk to my parents.

I drove by our old house and sat there and looked at it a while.

I stopped my an old friend of my moms I did not keep in touch with...she looked so much older than just 2 years ago- and she wept when she saw me...which made me weep too....

I guess there is a severe downside to being close with your parents and having your mom as your best friend....when it's gone it's brutal. It's lonely.

I really miss her. I miss them both.

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Hugs Prayers AND Positive THoughts! I hope Your sunshine comes out tomorrow and Ya have a Blessed Day!!!(((((((((((((((Katie))))))))))))))))))))

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Katie,

I'm so sorry I didn't get back on the site last night so I missed your post.

I can relate to the therapist thing. I remember thinking I got fired from counseling and came to think that should be the client's choice!

No matter the difference in the number of years each of your parents have been gone, every year you have to remember their passing within less than five months in YOUR life. That's a lot. I do understand what you are saying about the price you pay for being close to your parents. My son and I, born on the same day, were very close. No so much so now. I know he loves me but he has a very demanding life. My daughter and I were always very close and remained so through my dx and early days of my cancer treatment. Unfortunately, she appears to have pulled away. I see her making a much greater effort to create a life without me. I understand but I feel the loss. I can only guess at the pain you feel at the loss of your parents, but you sucked up all the love before they were gone and now have no regrets. That's huge.

Judy in Key West

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Katie a grief councelor can help you learn to cope but they can't take the pain away. When you love someone and lose them the pain becomes a part of you. Yes as time passes it will get easier but there will always be times just like with Randy when one little thing sets you off and you are back to day one.

We pay a heavy price to love but I can't even imagine life without love. Take care Katie and know that you are really no different than anyone else who has lost a loved one.

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