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Could he rally?


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My stepdad Steve is still in the hospital and has been for almost 2 weeks. He went in for leg pain still after having both tumors shrink from chemo treatments. He was eating and totally coherent when he went in, and now he is out of it. He is on lots of pain meds to keep him comfortable, but he is not eating and its been 5 days. He was on tarceva and it gave him such bad mouth sores and diarrehea that they took him off of it 3 days ago and now he is just on his pain meds and getting his 10 days of radiation to the hip area where the pain was coming from. (another mass there...)

Anyway, my mom claims how bad off he is now and I just dont understand how he can be so bad off when all his vitals are good and his blood all came back in the normal range. I know he has cancer still, but she seems to beleive that he is dying this week....and I just dont understand how that could be. Am I in denial? He does look bad...skinny and out of it from the meds..but what if the radiation kicks in and the pain is better? I keep thinking that maybe that will happen and that he could regain strength to eat and come home.

Has anyone been this sick or had a family member this sick and weak and bounce back? I dont know if its just wishful thinking on my part? How long does is take for radiation to take affect if its gonna work? We are just praying for him to rally. When you ask him, he says he is gonna still beat this...I guess that is all we can ask for is for him to not give up on himself. Im going to see him tomorrow and although it will be very emotional for me because of how weak and thin and sick he looks, I feel like I need to go and be a ray of sunshine for him and be a postive....

Thanks for letting me ramble....this cancer thing is so terrible and it does such terrible things to your body and mind...uggg....


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(((Jenn))) - I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time with your step-dad. After going through the process with two of my sister-in-laws I can only tell you one thing from my perspective - there is no set path or direction that cancer takes.

I saw my sister-in-law Jill about a week before she passed and while I hoped that she would rebound (thin, frail, not eating) unfortunately it wasn't to be...she had a very short life span between diagnosis and passing.

My other sister-in-law Dawn had times during her 2+ year battle when we were thinking "this might be it" and it would turn out not to be the case at that time. Dawn; however, like your step-dad insisted until the very last week that she was going to beat this and she didn't waver in her conviction. I remember the nurse telling me I NEEDED to talk to her about this because she was in denial. I told that nurse that I would support Dawn in any manner she wanted. Dawn lived well past the time that she was given and I have absolutely no regrets that we followed her lead in how to deal with it.

Don't get me wrong though - we still shared fears, tears and emotions and even alot of laughs along the way. Discussing the fact that we are going to die doesn't mean we are giving up on that person - we are all going to die, so it is good to talk about and share those feelings. I guess what I am trying to say is that I never tried to hide my sadness at the situation and that it was happening to someone I loved. It didn't mean I was giving up hope in either one of them.

Jenn - have a good visit today and don't worry about how you will react - it will be the love that will shine through. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers,


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As others have said, there is no telling what will happen. I personally, did not see it coming so fast with my husband, even when the doctor mentioned two weeks, I did not hear it. Enjoy your visit, make some memories and be sure to say the things you want to say to him. Be there for your mom, she needs you so much on this journey. Only God knows when the time is up.

Hugs and prayers are being sent to you.

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You ask if anyone has ever had a family member so sick and bounced back??? Let me tell you a story about my grandmother. She was a tough old Italian cookie who never let anything stop her. She had breast cancer and a radical mastectomy in her late seventies. The cancer then went into her cervix. She could no longer stay at home by herself strictly because she wouldn't behave herself, i.e. washing walls, the neighbors found her passed out from the heat cutting tree limbs down, etc.

So she spent time at my moms house, then would go to the various aunt's houses for weeks at a time. She was staying with my aunt when she had an episode where her eyes rolled back in her head and she because unconscious. My aunt called 911 and they admitted her to ICU. That night, my mom and her sisters and brother were called in to say goodbye and the priest administered last rites. A bit later, she opened her eyes, looked at everyone and said "who the h@ll sent me here without my teeth"!!!! True story - grandma lasted another 8 months.

None of us know how much time we have - I guess what is important is how we spend the time with each other.

Give your step-dad a hug from me. Hope things turn around for the good real soon.

Hugs - Patti B.

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