Ann Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Yesterday I was at my local Target buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Target won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Goodness, Ann, I almost wet my pants! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ts Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I'm crying, I am laughing so hard. Did you really make that up on the spot? Bad Target... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 Nope...I can't take credit for this one. A friend emailed me this and I had to share it with you guys. I could never think fast enough to spin such a tale. But...I do love the fact that someone came up with it. I have been in a situation where I did have dog food and was asked it I had a dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.