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This is not a fun roller coaster


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Well, my stepdad is still in the hospital and waiting to go home. There is really nothing else that can be done but pray for a miracle. He has the cancer mets in his hips and even though it is isolate there, its still bad. He got radiation (10 rounds) there to help with pain, but the only way he can regain his strength would be for the radiation to releive pain and for him to get so much strength that he could go on more chemo. He is very weak, and only eating about 750 calories a day. He is on pain meds to manage the pain and he is comfy. He is totally lucid and reading his book and stuff, but he is not eating enough and Im worried about that. He did respond very well to chemo, but the chances of him being able to endure more is next to none. He is going home tomorrow with hospice care, but yet yesterday his legs were better and the doc was amazed that he could move them so well. (he cannot walk at all...) So, one day we get news of him feeling good and then the next day may be bad news. He is really coming home to pass, but since he is stable, they say it could be some time since he is almost getting a tad stronger....we just need him to NOT get an infection while at home. He and my mom are talking about their lives together and have been very emotional with each other. He advised me over the weekend he is not scared, but its just so hard to believe that sometimes. I spent the whole day with him yesterday and he was so "well" and lucid and comfy, that its so hard to imagine he is terminal and is going home to pass. He was on tarceva but had to stop because of mouth sores and not eating....he needs to at least eat for strength....anyway..I just wanted to vent. If you have any input about this process, please let me know...otherwise prayers are always helpful and needed. I just realize that I rambled a lot...sorry...my story was kinda all over the place:)



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This is so hard to watch, Jenn. But it's wonderful that your stepdad is at peace and comfortable. Some patients who are considered terminal do seem to get better for a time. I think it's mainly the relief of being done with those invasive treatments and tests that sap the strength and the fact that they're in familiar, loving surroundings. If he will be receiving home hospice visits at some point, they can advise you of what to expect. Aloha,


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I can relate to what you are going through on so many levels. It was such a tough thing to go through, watching my step dad decline and endure so much pain. I get it, I really, really get it.

Please feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to who has been where you are.

I don't have a lot of advice other than to leave nothing unsaid and cherish this time with him.

Sending you, your Mom and step Dad lots of hugs and prayers


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