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To all the newcomers


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To everyone who is new here.

I can't give you advise on treatment because my hubby died only a month after we found out how sick he was.

But in that short time, I did find out things that everyone should know.

First, get a good note book and write down everything. If you have questions, write them down in this book. When you get information from the doctors, write it down. This book will become your bible of sorts. Put everything in there. What your loved ones are taking, what tests are being done, when, where, who. The whole shibang. Take that book with you everywhere you go. It can make quiet a difference if there is an emergancy and you are not dealing with your normal doctors or health care providers.

Second, get a legal and medical power of attorney done as soon as possible. It doesn't mean you will ever need it or use it, but I will tell you from experience, without those items, if something bad happens your hands are tied. And no one should ever go through what I had to go through after Randy died. Having him gone so suddenly, left me not only with greiving for him but trying to survive when the bank froze my account and I had to wait 8 weeks for a death certificate to clear things up.

Third, keep an eye on your own health. Get your check ups done on time and if you haven't had a physical lately, get one. You need to be able to be there and not have to worry about what is going on with you and trying to "hide" it from those you love. This is going to be very stressful and we all know what stress can do to a person. Take care of yourself too.

Fourth, keep intouch with those of us here on the message board. If you have questions or concerns, this is the place to be. It has been my life line durning these past very difficult months. It keeps me sane and lets me know I am not alone in what I am going through or what you are going through. There are so many here at different stages of this nightmare and the love and concern of everyone can sustain you even in the darkest and scariest of times. Don't be afraid to ask questions. There are no stupid or silly questions asked. You can't get answers if you don't ask.

Take one day at a time.

You are all in my prayers. I pray for peace and joy and hope for all.

Much love.


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Just to add to Shirley's excellent advice: Get a mini-recorder and record every visit. It's surprising how we can filter what we are told! Also get a copy of ALL your records. You have a right to it, altho you might be charged a minimal fee.

I have many journals, but I've never written more than a sentence or 2. Just couldn't quite do it. But I have zillions of tapes.


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