Andrea B. Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 I haven't been posting much lately, as I am sure the reason most people tend to shy away...things haven't been good. My mom took her sudden turn for the worse mid-November and things just keep declining. I am losing hope. My mom who has such a beautiful spirit and personality is slowly becoming someone I don't even recognize anymore...this pains me to no end. I know it is all the medications and the disease that make her say hurtful comments and nitpick at me, but the bottom line is it still hurts. My mom is basically chair/bedridden. She can't barely hold her head up, she is developing bedsores from not moving, she has 3 new fractures in her back causing severe pain, she is barely eating or drinking and the Iressa has been stopped and started 4 times and doesn't seem to be doing any good. I try to do all I can and feel guilty when sometimes I want to have a life outside of cancer. I am filled with an all consuming anger and it is making me into someone I don't recognize either. I feel so lost right now. I don't want to give up hope, but the way my mom is living now is not living it is merely existing. I always hold special thoughts for each of you, even though I haven't posted. I can barely find the energy to get up in the morning. Thank you for listening to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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