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KatieB

My dreams are driving me crazy

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Anyone else go thru a period or phases of having crazy dreams of their loved ones who passed away.

these aren't the ones that "re-live" how they passed away. Or ones where you remember loving memories or get to "chat" with your loved ones again. Those are emotional and can be nice.

These are CRAZY exhausting dreams I'm talking about.

I've had chronic insomnia for about 6 years now. Sometimes it worse than others. The past several days has been very little sleep with some crazy dreams involving my parents and I've never had crazy dreams with them in it before.

One of them was of my dad looking into the attic of thier house and complaining that no one would buy their house because of MOLD. (1. they didn't have an attic 2. no mold)

and it was just so bizarre. The house wasn't one I even recognized but there daddy was on that ladder and I kept wandering thru the house wondering where I was.

The other dream was of my mom coming BACK. A guy off of a TNT station show showed up and told me he was a US Marshall and that my mom had been in witness protection program for two years and now that they got the lady who had been trying to poison her, she could come BACK..and there she was. She was back and I was speechless. I was so happy but SO MAD at the same time.

And Finally the one that really has affected me.

I went back in time to the day before my moms stroke. Instead of staying home because of the icy weather, I went to her house. I knew the stroke was coming the next day so I took her to the doctor first. The doctor took blood tests and other tests and managed to get her blood pressure under control and on blood thinners.

I remember feeling like I had saved her life and so relieved.

Then the doctor came in and said he got the results of the other bloodwork and scans. It was cancer. He gave her about 6 months.

I remember thinking what a sick joke it was that I came "back in time" to save my mom of a stroke (that took her quickly from us) and traded that for a horrific cancer.

What had I done?

It was a crazy miserable dream.

Anyone else have dreams like this? I'm sure I just need sleep and I'm just missing them.

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Katie, I have never lost a parent, so I can't imagine how that must affect a person, but your dreams sound as though you are just emotionally drained and really missing your parent's.

Do you take any medications to help with your insomnia? (((HUGS)))

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Thanks for the hugs Caren.

I don't take anything prescribed for sleep. I just have a low tolerance for medication in general and I also have an older sibling who is an addict so I am scared to even take anything I don't have to.

I rotate between over the counter sleep meds. They don't work all that well and I will get a few days rest at a time and then a week of 2-4 hours sleep a night and then the cycle starts again.

Mostly I just try to work as hard as I can all day so that I will be totally exhausted at night -too tired to think and be able to sleep.

I do miss them always, but life has been really consistent and good now. I don't know why these types of weird dreams right now!

I hope they stop!

xoxo

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Wow Katie. Those are quite the dreams. And the fact that you remember them in such detail is remarkable. I think that is probably because you are not in the deepest part of the sleep pattern which isn't good. The mind can sure come up with weird things in dreams. I have had my share of sleep troubles but yours sound pretty bad. I know many people do suffer from lack of sleep these days so surely there is something that your doctor might be able to help you with. You work so hard and do so much good.....you deserve many many peaceful nights sleep! I hope you get some soon! Fondly

Sandra

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I think I've just figured it out.

All evening I've been seeing Mothers Day commercials. Lots of families out and about this beautiful spring...

It's this time I year. Mothers day and my birthday then slide right into fathers day...the hardest days of the year for me. Might be the reason I feel off balance and have had these dreams.

Thanks for letting me lean and figure things out and for being here.

Hugs

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Yes Katie I have had some pretty strange dreams and I believe that they all have a prupose or a reason.

The first one about the mold may be some kind of warning. Mold can be just as deadly as lc can be. If you ever move into another home make sure to have it all checked out for mold and if you or Rick have any problem make sure it isn't from mold in a work place. I know that sounds crazy but there is something to say for dreams that have a message.

The second dream to me has a double meaning first of all is the wishful thinking and the anger we always feel when we lose someone we love.

The third dream ia a way to end all of the woulda , shouda, couldas. It is letting you know that what happened was meant to be that way to save your mom from something even worse. Narurally because of your dad that something worse is automatically lung cancer. The thing is it is very hard to swallow but death happens when it should and how it should, we can't wish it away and if we could we might get something even worse to haunt our dreams and memories/

I'm sure you remember how bad I was when I first joined this board. I was so angry because I knew that Johnny did not die of natural causes. Yes he had lung cancer but it was not what killed him. I knew that right from the start and it made me one angry woman desperate to prove it. Then one night I had a dream.

In that dream I saw Johnny after he tried to hide from me because he didn't want me to see what the cancer had done to him.When I finally saw him he just withered before my eyes and his skin was melting away. He was begging me to not look at him but he could barely talk. I could never have stood to see him like that. We spent so many years apart and had such a short time but despite my pain at his death I don't have so many bad memories. Oh yes those last two months were terrible and that last weekend at the hospital was hell, but he was still my Johnny and neither of us would want me to remember him like he was in that dream.

It took me a long time to realize t hat. It took me a long time to see that God did have a plan for us, it just wasn't the plan I thought and it could have been so much worse. Again everything happens for a reason. Maybe we will never really understand but in some cases we can see a little of that reason.

I don't dream often of Johnny like I did. Still once in a while I dream that he is hiding so I can't see him sick and if I could just remember his old phone number I could find him. Believe me I have tried to remember that number and if I could I would probably have called it. Crazy I know.

Most of my dreams are good ones now. I always see him young and I always feel the love. That is the one thing that time nor death will ever take away from us. When you love that love survives. Dreams are a natural part of that love.

You love your parents and will always miss them. YOu will always wonder what it would have been like if they had lived, if they could see your children, what they would think of you or of the world today. That is natureal and as painful as it can sometimes be it is all a part of the circle of love between you.

(((((HUGS))))) Lillian

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(((((((Katie)))))))

It sounds like you need a big group hug!!!

As you know, I have gone through periods of heavy dreaming about Dennis and then there will be months without one single dream. Right now, it seems my nights have been peaceful, with none of the disturbing dreams. The last really vivid dream I had was very strange. Dennis was talking to me and explaining all about life after death and the plan God has for people after death. He told me there is a period of rest before the training comes into play. He explained that he would not be able to contact me for a long time, because he had completed his "training" and would be returning to earth again. He explained that we would cross paths again in life but that I would not recognize him as the person I knew and loved.

This dream was so realistic and today, after all these months, it's as clear as it was when I woke up. Funny....it was just after this dream that my grandson was born????

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Katie, I'm sorry you're having trouble sleeping. You're probably right about the time of the year - Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc. being the cause of your dreams. Wishing you some good solid sleep - it's hard to function without enough.

You're always in my thoughts.

((((Katie))))

Oh, yeah - I REALLY like the new look of the website. It's so clear and uncluttered.

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(((Katie)))

I have had trouble sleeping starting 2 years ago when my mom was first diagnosed. I have trouble ever since. I have a similar use with over the counter sleep aids. I find when I take them I wake up fine but by afternoon I am dragging. If it is the weekend and I take a nap...I really don't sleep! I wish I had an answer.........

I am sure you are correct about the time of year. April 15th was my first birthday without my mom. I just wanted the day to end. Please know my thoughts are with you! The work you do here is amazing. I can honestly say it is this sight that has seen me through some of my toughest days. I could never thank you enough!

Dana

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