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Suki died this afternoon around 2:30. I neglected to take note of the precise time, and didn't know everyone would ask. I was holding her right hand, my husband stood next to me. My brother held her left, and his partner held him. My father was with us, as well. In the end, mom just couldn't breathe any more. She struggled to pull in every ounce of air over the last few days of her life and by this morning her sats were down to an unbelievable 47. Still, it snuck up on me. Her color and breathing changed, and I thought it was a new plateau where she'd hang out for a while as she had the other plateaus over the last week or so. But she turned her head towards me, breathed 3-4 more times and was quiet. It was perfect and beautiful. And desperately, desperately sad.

I will write more soon. I am waiting for all of our family to be notified before posting anything related to mom's death on Facebook, and ask that my LCSC/Facebook friends do the same.

I could never overstate what this place contributed to my ability to show up for Suki since her first recurrance in 2005. Thank you is the understatement of the century. And I keep thinking about Fay A., who once told us that when she died she would not be losing the battle against cancer, but winning it by denying it a place to continue to grow. Suki won today. And I was privilaged to be on her team.

Love, love, love,


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thoughts Prayers And Condolences !! I am sorry for your loss but am glad she was surrounded by love and understanding..

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I am so sorry that you have suffered such a tremendous loss. I also think of Fay A's expression of winning the battle not losing it. Suki won her battle, the cancer can't hurt her anymore. My sympathy to you and your family.


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Dear Amie,

Suki in the Grieving forum took my breath away. I mentioned to you in the past that I felt a kindred spirit with her and her loss in felt deeply. Because of your mother you are the woman you are today. Her strength and courage are now yours and will help you through these very dark days. I'm thinking of you, Amie.


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