Ann Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 The Zen of Sarcus 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of > me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just > pretty much leave me alone. > > 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and > leaky tire. > > 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal > your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. > > 4. Don't be irreplaceable . If you can't be replaced, you can't be > promoted. > > 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. > > 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. > > 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of > car payments. > > 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. > That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their > shoes. > > 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you. > > 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to > fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day . > > 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was > probably a wise investment. > > 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. > > 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. > > 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. > > 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put > it back in your pocket. > > 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. > > 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark > side, and it holds the universe together. > > 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one > works. > > 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are > moving . > > 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. > > 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. > > 22 .. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a > laxative on the same night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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