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Baptizing a Bear


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A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains

to the students of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa .

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to

talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't

really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They

would all go up to the Smokies, find a bear, preach to it, and

attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has

various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I

found him I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me

around. So, I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is

coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm

and both legs in casts, and an IV drip.

In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, 'WELL brothers,

you KNOW that WE don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear.

And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that

bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we

began to wrassle. We wrassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN

another until we came to a creek. So right quick-like, I DUNKED him

and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.

And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the

rest of the day praising Jesus.'

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed.

He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in

and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision

may not have been the best way to start."

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