Gratitude and sadness

[bunny]

I am so grateful I was with mom at the end of her life and saw her die. Otherwise, I don't think I would believe that she was really gone.

That's where I am at with this. I miss her and feel lost.

I returned her leased car yesterday and have felt queasy ever since. I'm one of those mothers who tries to give my son a substantive answer to every question he asks but his queries of "Where Grammy's car, mommy?" yesterday as we were driven away from the dealer were met with silence. After the 2nd or 3rd time I failed to respond, he said "Mommy, OK?" I replied "I miss Grammy." He said "I miss Grammy, too." I don't know if he really misses her or was just agreeing with me, but it was a moving and devastating thing to hear.

Then he said "Big orange truck, mommy" and I remembered that, no matter what, life goes on. Sometimes it seems wrong that it does, but it does.

Last week I faxed death certificates to all her creditors. The hardest part of that was going through the medical bills and collection notices, with their dates of service and copays. I have to say that, on the whole, all of the customer service representative and, in a couple cases, collection agencies I spoke with were really gracious.

I'll be able to probate her will next week. We have a closing date on her apartment; it's the day before her birthday in August. And then I am flying to my mother in law in Ireland for two weeks to let her love and mother me and I can't wait.

I come here and read all the time, I just don't post.

Love and prayers to all of you, as always.

bunny

[Calintay]

((((Bunny)))) My thoughts are prayer are with you and your family.

[RandyW]

Post when ever YA want we understand!!! Its hard to relate sometimes even for me now. Prayers and Hugs.....

[Patti B]

((((((Bunny)))))

Please enjoy your trip to Ireland and remember that your mom will be with you every step of the way!!

Hugs - Patti B.

[ts]

Scones and tea for you girl. Soak up the loving care.

[SandraL]

I am glad you have an lovely trip to look forward to after completing all of those things. You deserve a break and some tlc. Take care

Sandra

[fillise]

((((Bunny))))

Susan

[jaminkw]

Bunny, can't even imagine what it took out of you to accomplish all the things that needed to be done after your mom passed. I'm so glad you have the trip and the loving care of your MIL to look forward to.

Judy in Key West