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Living as a single person


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This is all so new to me. When I left home it was to join the army. While in the army, Randy and I met and married. So really, I have never had to live alone. Sure I have my children at home still by my choice and theirs too I think, but I have never not had someone to consult when it came to making decisions. I am having a very hard time in making some decisions. Decisions that I would normally make only when I knew what Randy thought. Now it is just me to make those choices and man am I having a time at it. I have been looking for work and there is a job that has been somewhat offered but my heart is torn as to what to do about it.

I have been praying about what to do and I will follow what God presents to me. It is still this feeling though of is this the right decision.

I just needed a place to put this all down. Has anyone else had to go through this too with be unsure of what to do next? How do you manage?

Any advise would be nice.

Thanks for listening.


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It is hard to be all alone. My problem is cooking. Gianni did the shopping and cooking the last 6 years. I am a good cook but haven't wanted to cook much yet. Since July 10 I have probably cooked only 3 meals and 4-5 frozen dinners.

Back to you. Are you on an anti-depressant? Before lung cancer I never took anything. 6 months after Gianni's diagnosis I finally called for zoloft. I knew I needed it when Gianni and I wanted to go grocery shopping and we went home because neither one of us could decide which store to go to.

Not being able to make decisions or being confused was how I was effected. The pills seem to help.

Good luck


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I lost my job about 6 months before my husband died. This was fortunate, as I could be with him 24/7.

After he died, I felt like I was wandering in a wilderness, lost, alone and frantic. The pain was indescribable, and I couldn't eat and lost 27 lbs. I was living on Ativan, and drinking way too much. Looking back, I realize I was not in my right mind.

Luckily about 3 months after my husband's death, my former employer asked me to return. I can say without exaggerating, that returning to work saved my life. It gave me a reason to get up in the morning, a reason to get dressed and someplace to go. About 3 weeks after I started, I began to eat again.

It was very hard to go back to work. But I did it, even though on the way home my tears would flow at the thought of of the empty house I was returning to.

I can only advise you to take the job. As hard as it will be, you'll find it will give you a feeling of normalacy during the daytime. A job is great therapy.

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Thank you for your answers. I am doing pretty good with most things, it is just the "big" decisions that have me over a barrel.

I do hope to find a job soon. I have another interview on Tuesday, so I will wait and see what comes of it.

I think the other part of life right now that is really throwing me for a loop is my foster daughter is being checked for breast cancer. She is only 19. I sometimes feel like God has decided I can handle anything. And I guess I can, but this situation has added a great deal of stress to my life.

We will get through this too, but the waiting until the tests can be done is hard. With the flu that has hit, the hospital is not up to full staff so that has delayed her tests until Tuesday. I think once we know for sure one way or the other, we can then plan and do what needs to be done.

Just another bump in the road. Keep her in your prayers. I know I have been doing a lot of that lately, praying I mean.

Thank you again.

Much love,


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Shirley you just hang tough and things will all work out! You know I'm right here cheering you on! I agree with Peggy that working is really good for you! I have no idea how I would have kept my sanity without my job! Shirley your idea for this forum was so wonderful!!!! It's so nice to be able to open up to others that are experiencing the exact sane things!!! I am praying everything is OK with your Daughter! Sometime I wonder if my prayers are heard but still have to believe they are!!!!!! It is so cold here in Florida...brrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

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