moodah13 Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Hello everyone, I am the caregiver to my husband Danny. He was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma in his right middle lobe of his lung in June 2008. Danny had a pneumonectomy in September 2008 which was deemed a "surgical cure". After the first of the year 2009, I noticed a gradual weight loss and appetite loss in my husband. We went to the primary care doctor in March but was fluffed off, the doctor thinking I was over reacting. On May 5, 2009, I forced my husband to go to the ER at the VA Hospital. He was subsequently diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer to his right kidney and two left ribs. They also found renal cell carcinoma in his left kidney. After two bouts of hypercalcemia caused by the tumors, chemo was started on May 26, 2009. My husband's reaction to the doublet carbo/taxol was pretty bad. He had lost almost 23% of his weight and the chemo beat him up. He landed back in the hospital with dehydration and another bout of hypercalcemia. Once recovered enough to think straight, my husband Danny and I made the decision to end all treatment. We are going to try and enjoy what little time we have left without all the side effects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 People do make the decision to not do treatment. I do think though it might be better to make that decision "for now." My guess is your husband's reaction to the chemo was because he was already physically debilitated. Maybe if he takes some time off and focuses on gaining weight and some strength, you might rethink it--or not. Many people choose quality over quantity of life. It is a very individual thing. Stay in touch. It is important that Danny remain physically as comfortable as possible. There may be members here who can help you with that. Judy in Key West Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry's Wife Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Yes, folks decide to suspend treatment and remain resolved to their decision. Other folks get physically stronger after a break and decide to try again with another regimen. In our case, Larry decided to forego treatment after he had a crisis and landed in ICU. We actually brought him home on Hospice thinking he had only a few days at most to live. But he rebounded. About a week later, he decided to go back on chemo, albeit a different regimen than he was on when he had his crisis. He enjoyed a good quality of life for another six months before we discovered multiple brain mets, which in his very particular case, could not be treated with the gold standard, whole brain radiation. At that point, even though he was offered another treatment option, he decided not to pursue it. My point in telling you this is just to affirm that the decision to stop treatment can be changed if you so desire. There is no right or wrong. It is very much a personal decision. We will support you and help you in any way possible as you go forward. Lynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 To pursue or not pursue treatment is a very individual decision and only you and Danny know if it is the right one for him. Given the experience with the last chemo, I hope he gains strength and you are able to enjoy some qality time togther. Stay in touch. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 When YA have some time, Take a look at the forum titled, "The Path Less traveled" It is about fighting cancer with out the Mainstream treatment plans of Chemo, surgery, and radiation!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recce101 Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 ...made the decision to end all treatment... Yes, it's definitely an individual decision, and many factors enter into it. I can see myself making that decision at some point, and there's a chance I might make it earlier than some other person with a similar disease burden. In that case, I would not appreciate any persistent efforts to convince me I was wrong. Please keep in touch. I think you'll find that this group will offer numerous suggestions to someone requesting input, but will respect and support a decision that's been made with due consideration of the facts at hand. Best wishes and Aloha, Ned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jstdzy Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Hi Welcome! Sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us. I totally understand your decsion not to have treatment, almost made that one myself. Whatever you decide you are always welcome here. Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraL Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Hi there. I am so sorry to read about your husband Danny. I am sure you thought hard about not pursuing further treatment. It is so hard but quality of life for our remaining time does become more important at some point. I am praying that he recuperates and that you have many many more good days together. Please come here for support as there is lots of it. Take care Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrollpaddy Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 It sounds like you made the decision to cease treatment together. The cancer can't take away the love and respect you have for one another. I know the helplessness that comes from a stage 4 dx and having to hear over and over from the onc, "Your tumors have grown..." So I know making the difficult decision you have made is a way to assert some measure of control over your own lives. I have a lot of respect for you in making what is undoubtedly the most difficult decision of your lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb73 Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 The decision not to seek further treatment is a respected one at this site. It might even be one that Bill and I will decide one day, or not. I have no idea, really. We have been on the roller coaster ride and have had many enjoyable months/years since Bill's dx, which was 4 years and 7 months ago. Here's the thing, whatever one decides is OK. There is, as has been said, no right way to do this. Bill and I have decided to keep going only because his side effects have always been (blessedly) few and very slight. But, if that should change, should our walk take us to a different scenario, we may choose differently. We will only know as we go along. Right now, we are choosing treatments. How this will unfold will be entirely a matter of kismet. Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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