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Dad kept secret


Marci

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Hi All,

Well, I finally know why now when they say Men mourn different then women. Sorry to the few that still have the respect for their families. It just came out in front of the whole community that my Dad has been seeing a girl I went to highschool with. I didn't like her then and now I despise her for sleeping with my father so gross. He says he ended it not b/c he disgraced my mother's family and her memory but that he misses his wife. Whatever the damage to this mourning period has been forever tarnished. Yes, I do forgive him (he asked for foregiveness) b/c I love him but how much more can I take and my 18 year old brother right now. Well he has decided to sell the house that I rent an apt. with my husband so now we must make that transistion too and for me to get the house ready to be sold. I feel all this was so unfair and I told him that he denied me my mourning b/c this has all been about him so maybe by moving even though this is scary for me it will be the best thing I can do so I can mourn and have peace. I am begging people in my home to please let me mourn my mother in peace and they have just wiped me out.

Marci

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So very sorry to hear you have all of this to deal with. I agree that the decision to make you move doesn't seem at all fair. It just seems as if this is so much for you to deal with at this time in your life. Please know that we are thinking of you and saying prayers.

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Family--you just never know when someone passes, will it bring you together or tear you apart. I am so sorry that no one seems to respect your grief and need to mourn your mother. My hope for you is that you get through this and find a measure of the peace you deserve.

Judy in Key West

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Thanks for all the support. I hope things turn around soon for me and for all of you too. I keep praying for all of you too. I just keep reciting: Be Still and Know that I am God to myself through out all this.

Thanks Again-

Marci

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Marci~

I am so sorry that on top of grieving for your mother you now have the added stress of all the "other." I am glad you have forgiven your dad- trust me when I tell you that probably wasn't your dad. Watching someone die is enough to push anyone over the edge and I think it takes awhile to get yourself back. I developed some weird phobias and I was more than a little nuts for awhile after losing John. You all need to give yourselves time to heal and hold off on decisions as long as you can to make sure they are the right decisions. Just try to hold yourselves together as a family and honor your mother by healing yourselves.

I've seen people do some strange things to try not to feel grief. Some people will do anything not to feel and give in to it (like sleeping with someone they don't really care about) but all they do is postpone it-- sooner or later it's going to hit.

I'm sorry. I know it's hard--

Rochelle

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Marcy I am so sorry for the pain you are going through with the loss of your beloved mom. She was so young to be taken from her family. And the fuel your dad put on top of it really hurt. But I am glad that you forgave him.

Grieving for a love one comes in many different forms. Some much longer than others. Or some days you think you are fine and boom.... you are teary all over again. My mom passed 4 years now and some days Iam just overwhelmed and miss her so much. Otherwise I am fine.

I feel for you as you seem to just want to be left alone to grieve in your own way without uneedful interruptions. I pray for you to have well deserved peace.

Maryanne

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