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Children dealing with a loss...


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As you all know my dad lived in the house with us for his last two years of life and so he played a huge part in my three childrens' lives.

They all cried hard and talked about him often for the first two or three weeks of his passing but then as time went on they slowly stopped crying and talking so much about him. I don't mind this as they are children and they are just being 'children'. I wouldn't expect them to still be consumed by grief almost three months after his passing.

Periodically they will talk of him and say that they miss him or they will remember something that he would say or do and they will laugh about it, which is great.

Yesterday my In-laws were coming to visit and stay over for the night (they live 250 miles away). The girls were becoming more and more excited as the day went on and then I went upstairs and found my eldest daughter (14) having a cry. I asked why she was crying and she said that while thinking about Nanny and Granddad coming to visit she had started to think more about Granddad Dave and how much she really misses him. Then last night my youngest daughter mentioned Granddad and she too had a little cry.

I think it's good for them to get on with their lives and not grieve but at the same time I don't think it hurts them to cry every once in a while.

I think that seeing Granddad Harry made the realisation of never seeing Granddad Dave again hit them harder :(

I just held them both and let them sob telling them that I love them and it's ok to be sad.

I didn't know what else to do.

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You're a great mom - kids need to learn that its OK to cry sometimes and that unfortunately life is not always fair. I know it hurts so much and we never want to see our children hurt, but as my 17 year old Nick just told me "sometimes I think you being sick has made me a stronger person".

I wish you all peace during this time.

Hugs - Patti B.

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