I seem to do all of my thinking at night....

[Caren]

My husband is a bit of a night owl and so most nights I find myself climbing into bed alone.

This is fine..it has always been this way and so I'm used to that. What I am not used to is lying there and thinking about how our day went or things that need to be done the following day and such and then snuggling down and closing my eyes and then the first thing I see, on closing them (most nights), is my dad's face as he left this earth.

God that hurts so bad to see that. I really wished that I could see his face but not at that moment.

It takes a while for me to get over that and drift into sleep.

[lilyjohn]

When you watch someone you love leave this life, it is like watching a part of yourself disappear. It takes a long time to get those images out of your head. I know how hard it is. One day as time passes that image will be replaced with some that will make you want to laugh. Love is like that especially when we lose somone so dear to us. Often you want to laugh and cry at the same time.

I hope that soon you will have images of him from when he was alive and well and you will be content again. It is just so hard, but time is the answer. It doesn't heal the wound but it makes it a little easier to live with the loss.

[Barbb]

I have my favorite picture of Rod on my desk so that is what I see in my mind. If my mind wanders to his Hospice days, I have to stop it. I don't like that picture.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time.

Barbb