I can't believe my daddy is gone

[Debaroo]

This morning my father died, after an almost 2 year battle with lung cancer. My mom called me this morning at 7:30am to tell me to come over, he had fallen on the floor. He was sitting up and alert, not in any pain-thank God, as I was on my way, he told my mom not to call an ambulance, that he would get up...then he passed out, and his heart stopped...that was it, he was gone.

When I arrived, I saw the police care and assumed that when I came in the house, Daddy would be seated in his chair and we would be deciding whether he should go to the hospital. But when I came in my mom said, "Debi, I think hes gone.." "WHAT?", when I went into the 'little room' (my old bedroom), I saw him and knew.

Its so weird. It was so fast. I mean, yesterday he was having alot of pain. My mom called and said that Daddy had bent over to pick up a pencil and was having pain in his chest, that moved to his stomach. The pain was excruciating, Daddy asked if mercy killing was legal here-I think he just figured that it would get worse from there. The dr. said to give him his pain meds-as Daddy did not want to go to the hospital. I stayed for a few hours, until the pain had pretty much gone and Daddy was comfortable. This morning he had a cup of coffee and a donut-he forced it down-he hasn't eaten in 3 days-this time the chemo really took SO much out of him. He was so worried about ruining everyones Christmas.

He always bounced back. We expected to kind of know when the end was near...hospice and all that.

But, ultimatly, it was really good-he was home, he wasn't in pain. I don't know. I'm so confused. I'm grateful that he didn't suffer, and I'm sad that we didn't see it coming so quickly. I am glad that I got to see Daddy yesterday, and hug him and tell him I love him. I am so proud of him. He lived his life in such a noble way. Today a former co-worker e-mailed his 'fellowship members' about Daddys death (about 150 guys showed up at daddys retirement party, the usual turnout was about 30-40 guys...but for Daddy, all these guys that had retired in previous years came, just everyone. I was supposed to go to the party, but was busy giving birth to dads 4th grandchild (he said that she was his best retirement gift).

Anyway, what was written about my dad in this notice of his death to fellow workers pretty much summed him up: "...He was simply put a very nice guy. No one ever could say a bad word about this total gentle man. He will be sorely missed by all, and his former co-workers will, as I have been, be very saddened by this very very sad news."

That was my daddy. I love you Dad, I am proud of you and will do my best to make sure that you are never forgotten by your granddaughters Gwyneth and Julia. I will do my best to make you proud. You were a wonderful man, and will be missed more than words can say.

Thank you all for being here-I wish you all a safe, happy and peaceful Christmas and a New Year filled with hope and many blessings-I have been blessed to have Richard Cuomo as my father, and am so lucky to have had him for as long as I did. Take care, Deb

[Donna D.]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

[Ry]

Oh Deb, what a shock! I am so sorry about your dad. I wish you strength to get through the days ahead. All my sympathy...

Rochelle

[Guest DaveG]

Deb:

So sorry about your loss. I hope you will stay with us, as you have always been a source of support and I know we have provided support for you. Always remember the good times.

[Andrea B.]

Oh Deb...first and foremost I send you hugs and love. I was so shocked to read this. I am so very very sorry. Your message was so poignantly written and I think expresses your love and strength. Please know I am here if you ever need someone to lean on...blessings to you.

I am so sad.

[lilyjohn]

My heart breaks for you. I wish you to know the comfort of God's love and to remember that your wonderful Dad will never be far away. MO posted a poem called Christmas in Heaven. Please read it. I hope it will give you some peace. Lillian

[gail]

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for you all . Your father knew how much you loved him, and you know how much he loved you.

I know several people who died like that while in treatment, suddenly and without warning.

my best to all of you

gail

PS Here's the school teacher

When my little guys come in with such sad news, I tell them about "Pop-pop Heaven", and that their Pop-pop is now with my pop-pop, and with my son's pop-pop, and they all meet together and watch over us. It usually brings a smile

[mirrell]

deb, i am so sorry for your loss. it has been a trying two years for you, and i wish you strength in this next part of your journey. take care of yourself, and your mother, and your family, and take a lot of time to grieve for this wonderful man. thinking of you, mirrell

[shirleyb]

Deb,

I am so sorry for the passing of your father. I know how much he meant to you from your posts and how much you meant to him.

I wish you peace at this time. You are in my prayers.

Wishing you enough...,

Much love,

Shirley

[Fay A.]

Dear Deb,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've run out of words, Dear One. I'm just so damn sorry.

[Fay]

Deb.

Sending my sincere sympathies over the loss of your Dad.

Your love for him will sustain you .

Faylene

[Cindy RN]

So hard losing a parent. My mom died from nsclc in 1994. She went fairly fast. From experience I would want it fast. God saw fit to allow your daddy to go fast. What a blessing. I hope I do also someday. Stay close to God these next weeks, He is there to comfort. Let Him. Love Cindy

[Tiny]

Deb-

The down side of loving someone so dearly is the great pain and loss we feel when they pass on. I'm so sorry about your beloved father and offer my condolences during this time of deep grief. We are here for you, as you have been for us in times past.

[kimblanchard]

Deb

I am so sorry about your Dad. May God grant you the strength to get through this extremely difficult time. He is in a better place now.

Bess B

[teetlee]

Dearest Deb,

I'm so sorry and grieved over the loss of your father. I pray for strength for you and your mom and all of your family at this sad time. May the Lord's abundant love and grace comfort you and enable you to comfort others.

Teet

[mittlers]

I'm so sorry Deb, my prayers are with you.

God Bless

Susan M.

[David P]

Deb, please accept my condolences over the loss of your dear father. I will be thinking of you. A father could not possibly have a more wonderful daughter than you Deb. Take care,

David P.

[Eileen]

Deb so very sorry for your loss

my deepest condolences to you and you family

[David A]

Deb, Please accept my sincere condolences.

[Donna G]

Deb. O am so sorry that you have lost your Dad. He is having a wonderful Christmas now, no pain, and being close to total Love. I know the holidays are really going to be difficult for you and the family . May the little baby come and comfort you through this difficult time. Donna G

[betplace]

Deb, Please accept my sympathy on the loss of your beloved Father. Look to the Lord for strength and know that you are in our prayers

Betty

[chloesmom]

Debaroo,

I am so sorry to hear about your father. Please accept my sympathies and may your memories of the good times help you find peace.

chloesmom

[shelliemacs]

Deb,

Oh my god I am so sorry. I am at such a loss for words except I am so so very sorry.

[natalie]

Deb, I am so sorry! I am shocked. I feel like our parents were similar with their disease and you always gave me such good feedback. Thank you for all of your help. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I will be thinking of you and hoping you and your mom feel some comfort with family and memories.

I'm just so saddened by your news.

[Laurie]

Deb,

I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your father. I have the utmost respect for you.. you are such a strong and supportive advocate for your parents and thier care. Your father must have been so proud of you. I wish i could say more ... My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

God Bless you

Laurie