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Putting Your Affairs in Order...LOL


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The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad

news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order..'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into

the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we

celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well.

I have cancer.

So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber.

There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually

approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious

as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end,

'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,

'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told

your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'


Women are like phones:

They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.

But push the wrong button and your but is disconnected.

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