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This is my time of year...


Caren

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The Autumn/fall is definitely nearing and I see brown on leaves - I love to see this. I love to start planning for Christmas (yes people I start making my lists and checking them twice in September) and making sure that my children have the most memorable Christmas' that I can give them. I love when the air turns crisp and you have to pull your coat up around your neck while feeling the crunch of frost under you feet. I love it.

^^^^That is what I would have posted at this time two years ago^^^^

Last year we had not long received my dad's diagnosis when September arrived and I think that looking back the following months passed in a blur. Although I still kept things together and made Christmas great for my children and of course for my dad because it was his last.

This year I am thinking Christmas but the 'feeling' just isn't there yet. The mind is saying to get going and start planning but the heart is saying 'STOP YOUR DAD IS GONE AND YOU WANT TO PLAN CHRISTMAS' . I know that I need to do this for my children and also for myself but I'm struggling right now. :(

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(((Caren))), the holidays , especially the first ones without our loved ones are very hard for most of us. Wish there was some way to make it easier. Knowing your Dad would want you to go on with your plans and make the holidays special for your kids will help, but nothing can make it as it was when he was with you. You have your cherished memories and you have to make new ones and perhaps do something special in his memory. In spite of all that, it's impossible to forget that someone very dear to us is missing. ... It's hard. So many of us understand....

Hugs,

Sue

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Sue

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I have a friend who lives in Michigan and works at Bronners Christmas Store. I have had her design a special Christmas Tree decoration in memory of my dad. I'm just waiting for her to remember to ship it over for me. Hopefully that will be done before Christmas.

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what a wonderful tribute Caren!!! Yes the firsts are hard enough and worse with the holidays. Remember to always take time to make time for yourself though. Its all about the Kids but you have too have 'Your time" also......

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Caren, hope your special ornament arrives and gives you comfort and incentive. I've not been a caretaker but a survivor and this is my second year trying to get the momentum to start Christmas again. It's always been my favorite holiday but the effort now is so great. Thank goodness I have my husband there giving me a little push. It will already be time to think of starting when I get home and I'm dreading it. I will think of you as I pull up the energy to get it started and follow through.

Judy in Key West

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(((Caren)))

I remember the first holidays after each of my parents passed away. They were always "done" for the kids and my heart wasn't in it...things looked lovely and I had my lists and did all that I had to do...but my heart wasn't there, the holiday feeling....it felt like a chore and a job I had to just get thru.

I did have ornaments for each parent engraved and even the kids decorated special ornaments for their grandparents too....that really brough me a sense of comfort.

Be gentle on yourself and know that's it's ok for things not to feel the same, for your heart to be broken during these first holidays and anniversarys.

I hope that the love and support of your family will make this time a little kinder on you and little reminders of your dad will let you know that although he's no longer here, he's still with you.

(((hugs)))

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