jmills Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I haven't posted anything on here for a few months. My mom died on April 1. She was such an amazing woman. She was bedridden in a hospital bed in her living room for her last 3 weeks. She remained positive right until the end. My dad was suffering some health problems and was in the hospital for the last few days before she died. He was on his way home when she died. We buried her on April 9, and my dad crawled into bed and gave up. He ended up in the hospital and died on June 17. The official cause of death was from renal failure, but we all feel that he died of a broken heart. He just couldn't face life without her. I had a baby boy on May 5, and don't think I could cope if it wasn't for him. I am feeling really sad today thinking that they should both be here to share in all these amazing things with him. I haven't really given myself any time to grieve, and know that I need to, I just don't know where to begin. I thought maybe sharing my feelings on here would be a start. I mostly feel like they are just away - and then some days it hits me that they are really gone - forever. Quote
RandyW Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Something that I used to do might help you some, is talking to them. I know how hard it is these days. GO outside tonite under the stars and talk to them. Tell them about your day. Remember they are right above ya watching every day. Don't have any regrets. You did everything you could to help them, and they know that. I am so sorry for this tragic loss you have been through. My thoughts and Prayers go out to you. It is good to get things out also so please feel free to come here any time for any reason and let us know. We get it and we understand... Quote
Patti B Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I am so sorry - you suffered a double loss in such a short time. I agree with Randy - go talk to them - tell them about your baby boy - how he is growing, his name and everything you can about him. I know they will be smiling down on you. Hugs - Patti B. Quote
jaminkw Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I know what you've experienced loosing both parents in such a brief period of time seems more than one person can endure. Thank goodness you've been blessed with that baby boy who will go a long way in keeping you in a functioning mode. The flip side is you do need to grieve and being responsible for the care and feeding of a baby doesn't allow much time for that. I like Randy's idea of talking to your loved ones, maybe in the shower if there isn't time or energy to go out and do it under the stars in the evening. And definitely come here and talk it out. I firmly believe in writing or talking out feelings and you have the added bonus here of having people who emphathize because they've walked in your shoes. My condolences on the loss of your family and congratulations on the birth of your son. Judy in Key West Quote
jstdzy Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I am so sorry! I wasn't raised with my Dad, just my Mom and sisters. My Mom passed away in Feb. of this year. I'm such a Mama's girl! I can't image the pain of losing both your parents! Prayers are on the way to you and your family for strength and peace. You are always welcome here! Dana Quote
Suzie Q Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I lost my parents in '06, within 13 weeks of one another. Dad died with melanoma, mom with lung ca. While I did not have a newborn to care for, I did have a lot of family crises to deal with that prevented me from grieving. I was on autopilot for a few months, then the delayed grieving set in. You can't force it. You will go through different stages at different times than anyone else. Just know that we welcome you here to vent, chat or whatever, any time! Deepest sympathies, Karen Quote
Nick C Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 That's so much...I am so sorry. Very sad to read. Quote
Barb73 Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Losing both parents within such a short span is overwhelmingly sad. You need to be able to release the feelings and the sorrow. I like Randy's (talking upward to the stars) and Judy's (talking in the shower). Both give the opportunity to be heard out in the ethers by loved ones "looking down." Most of my sad moments are soothed by crying in the shower. It is cathartic for me, and seems to be key to my feeling better. It's a release. Please come back and visit with us. We all have been through journeys and understand the walk. Barbara Quote
barbvh Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your parents so close together. I believe that you are right about sharing your feelings. It helps me a lot. Randy and Barb's suggestions are also wondeful. ((HUGS)) BarbVH Quote
fillise Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I'm so sorry you have had such a difficult time. Even in the midst of all that grief you were given the gift of your son. That doesn't make your loss any less, but like you said it gives you a beautiful reason to look ahead with joy even as you grieve. I'm going to move this post to our grief thread so it can be read by others who will offer you their love and support. Susan Quote
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