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lost my mom and dad


jmills

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I haven't posted anything on here for a few months. My mom died on April 1. She was such an amazing woman. She was bedridden in a hospital bed in her living room for her last 3 weeks. She remained positive right until the end. My dad was suffering some health problems and was in the hospital for the last few days before she died. He was on his way home when she died. We buried her on April 9, and my dad crawled into bed and gave up. He ended up in the hospital and died on June 17. The official cause of death was from renal failure, but we all feel that he died of a broken heart. He just couldn't face life without her. I had a baby boy on May 5, and don't think I could cope if it wasn't for him. I am feeling really sad today thinking that they should both be here to share in all these amazing things with him. I haven't really given myself any time to grieve, and know that I need to, I just don't know where to begin. I thought maybe sharing my feelings on here would be a start. I mostly feel like they are just away - and then some days it hits me that they are really gone - forever. :(

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Something that I used to do might help you some, is talking to them. I know how hard it is these days. GO outside tonite under the stars and talk to them. Tell them about your day. Remember they are right above ya watching every day. Don't have any regrets. You did everything you could to help them, and they know that.

I am so sorry for this tragic loss you have been through. My thoughts and Prayers go out to you.

It is good to get things out also so please feel free to come here any time for any reason and let us know. We get it and we understand...

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I know what you've experienced loosing both parents in such a brief period of time seems more than one person can endure. Thank goodness you've been blessed with that baby boy who will go a long way in keeping you in a functioning mode. The flip side is you do need to grieve and being responsible for the care and feeding of a baby doesn't allow much time for that. I like Randy's idea of talking to your loved ones, maybe in the shower if there isn't time or energy to go out and do it under the stars in the evening. And definitely come here and talk it out. I firmly believe in writing or talking out feelings and you have the added bonus here of having people who emphathize because they've walked in your shoes.

My condolences on the loss of your family and congratulations on the birth of your son.

Judy in Key West

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I am so sorry! I wasn't raised with my Dad, just my Mom and sisters. My Mom passed away in Feb. of this year. I'm such a Mama's girl! I can't image the pain of losing both your parents! Prayers are on the way to you and your family for strength and peace. You are always welcome here!

Dana

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I lost my parents in '06, within 13 weeks of one another. Dad died with melanoma, mom with lung ca.

While I did not have a newborn to care for, I did have a lot of family crises to deal with that prevented me from grieving. I was on autopilot for a few months, then the delayed grieving set in.

You can't force it. You will go through different stages at different times than anyone else. Just know that we welcome you here to vent, chat or whatever, any time!

Deepest sympathies,

Karen

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Losing both parents within such a short span is overwhelmingly sad.

You need to be able to release the feelings and the sorrow.

I like Randy's (talking upward to the stars) and Judy's (talking in the shower). Both give the opportunity to be heard out in the ethers by loved ones "looking down."

Most of my sad moments are soothed by crying in the shower. It is cathartic for me, and seems to be key to my feeling better. It's a release.

Please come back and visit with us. We all have been through journeys and understand the walk.

Barbara

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I'm so sorry. I do know how it can be without both parents at a relatively young age. And I agree with others that your baby will keep you moving and carry you thru on the days you wish you could just crawl under a rock with your grief.

You've suffered so much loss in such a short time--not that long ago!

I used to hate when people told me grief takes "time". I hated that word "time"...but looking back now I know that they were right.

And there's no "time limit" on grieving either. You might not have the time to grieve now because you're busy learning how to be a new mom and taking care of a baby....so you're grief may come in stages at different times in your life.

My daughter was born two months after my dad died and she just kept me busy that first year, along with starting a new career and becoming a patient advocate for people like my dad....I kept myself so busy...I didn't grieve my dad until year 2 and then I didn't fully grieve his loss until I suddenly lost my mom.

Take it a moment at a time. Join a grief support group or a Parentless Parents group or post here if you just want other's to connect with who understand. Talking about your loss and learning coping skills helps so much.

I pray for gentler days ahead for you and that one day memories of your parents will bring you comfort instead of pain.

(((hugs)))

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I'm so sorry you have had such a difficult time. Even in the midst of all that grief you were given the gift of your son. That doesn't make your loss any less, but like you said it gives you a beautiful reason to look ahead with joy even as you grieve.

I'm going to move this post to our grief thread so it can be read by others who will offer you their love and support.

Susan

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