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My Mom is gone...


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I haven't been around much since the doc said my mother's cancer was 'in remission' but I still pop in from time to time to see how everyone is doing.

Unfortunately, we lost my mother on Oct. 25. She had just started using the oxygen tank about a month earlier and was pretty much fighting us about using it. She was told over and over that she needed to use it 24/7 and she pretty much said she did not want to, even though she knew the repercussions. She kept saying she was going for quality of life, not quantity. On Thurs, Oct 25 she was out playing Bingo with some friends and was using her portable oxygen tank (although we think it was not working properly), and around 3:30 pm she quit breathing and went down. Although someone started CPR right away and she got to the hospital quickly, the doctors did not expect her to ever open her eyes again. They said her pupils were fixed and dialated and that she was not responding to painful stimuli, and they did not know how long she might have been without oxygen after she coded. She did open her eyes later that evening and it was clear that she was still our mom and understood what we were saying to her so they pulled the intubation tube around 11:30. We did not know if she would be able to breath on her own and she said she did not want the tube placed back in if she could not breath, so it was a tense moment.

The next day she seemed to be making a miraculous recovery. She was still in ICU and having issues with her breathing and in pain, but everyone was amazed at how well she was doing. She had family members in to see here all day (many came in from out of town) and had a nice visit with her 90 year old sister. Then Saturday they had to dial the pain meds back as her breathing was getting worse and the pain meds were suppressing her breathing. And then we found out she had several broken ribs in the front and back from the aggressive CPR. It was hard to watch her hurt! Sticky situation ~ do you pull back pain meds to help her breath or do what you can to make her comfortable? My sister and one of my nieces stayed the night as the rest of us tried to go home and get some sleep and we were called back at 4:00 am Sunday morning. Her heartrate was fluctuating from 30 to 220 and back, and I don't think enyone expected her to hold on until we all got back. But she did. She even opened her eyes and spoke to us just a bit that day but we knew she was done. We all got to say our good-byes and tell her we loved her and that she was a great mom! And we all took turns holding her hands and kissing her head until she took her last breath around 4:30 pm. She was surrounded by all 7 of her children and our spouses and most of her grandkids.

And I STILL can't believe she is gone!

http://obit.baue.com/obitdisplay.html?i ... ng=Current

The worst part was that my dad had been admitted to a different hospital for an infection in his foot 3 days before my mom coded. And some days the meds and infection made him VERY loopy and just NOT himself. So we spent a few days bouncing from hospital to hospital and then when mom died we had to break the news to him. Then we had to get him discharged from the hospital and into a rehab facility so that we could bring him to the funeral home and to the funeral. He's still in rehab and wants to go home but I'm not sure he will ever make it. He is legally blind and has many health issues.

Sorry this got a bit long, but thanks for letting me get out my mom's story.


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My heart goes out to you and your family Karen. I also lost my husband a few weeks ago. I know everyone says that time heals and it gets easier. I guess we'll both just have to pray for strength. I'm glad you have such a large family that can help support you. I wish the best for your dad as well

((Prayers and Hugs)))

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Karen, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom and the tragedy being compounded by the situation with your Dad. I am so glad, however, that your mom was able to rally enough to let you and your siblings know what she wanted and to say your goodbyes. Stay strong and be good to yourselves. Hope you all can support each other through the difficult days ahead.

Judy in Key West

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