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Happy Birthday Daddy.


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Happy Birthday Daddy,

the big "65"....

I bought you a birthday card eight months ago thinking you'd be here to hold it...but instead I left it at your grave today.

It has been three months and I miss you SO much- it seems like more and more each day. I haven't really slept in three months- I think about you and that last week all the time and the memories, there are so many.

I'm trying to stay busy so that I don't dwell or drown in my sorrow...I still have my beautiful family here who need me and mom needs me so much right now she misses you with each breath she takes.

I hope you can see us from wherever you are. I miss you. I love you. Please watch over me- your little girl still needs help sometimes.

Happy Birthday Daddy...wish you were here to hug.

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Oh Katie,

I do know what you mean about getting the birthday card early. I did the same thing, only Randy passed just four days before his birthday and two days before mine. All his cards went with him. There were so many because his friends were going to give him a card party because he was so ill and we didn't want alot of visitors because of the possiblity of infections.

I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this. Just know your dad is with you now and always will be. Watch for the signs.

Wishing you enough and then some.

Much love,


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Your gentle face and patient smile

With sadness we recall

You had a kindly word for each

and died beloved by all

The Voice is mute and stilled the heart

That loved us well and true,

Ah, bitter was the trial to part

From one so good as you

You are not forgotten loved one

Nor will you ever be

As long as life and memory last

We will remember thee.

We miss you now, our hearts are sore,

As time goes by we miss you more,

Your loving smile, your gentle face,

No one can fill your vacant place.

Happy Birthday Jessie.

Katie, I wish there was something out there that could alleviate the pain of a broken heart. I wish I could help ease your grief. The best I can do is offer you this hug (((((Katie)))))) and tell you that I truly believe that your sweet father is close to you, tied by a bond of eternal love. He has heard your birthday wishes and is watching over you to help as he can.

Take Care sweet Katie,


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Katie, let's just all imagine that our loved ones are together now celebrating Jesse's birthday and wishing him well. Let's believe they all are aquainted and are bonded as former members of this board! I'm sure they are all watching over us and doing their best to protect us from harms way! I know this is a really tough day for you and your entire family! Once again, let me remind you what a wonderful daughter, friend and caregiver you were to your father! Just remember how much he loved you and let that love warm your heart today and fill your soul with peace!!!!!

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You posted on December 29th so I assume that is your Dad's birthday. It was Hugh's birthday also. He would have been 60. I hope that birthdays in heaven ARE spectacular and I hope that our loved ones have met through their common bond. Before Hugh died he once told me if anything happened to him that he would still be here watching over me. I hold on to that, I know they are here with us. But I agree with you, I wish Hugh were here to hug.

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Dear Katie---

just want to say your Father would be extremely proud of you----he raised a wonderful, caring daughter and you are carrying on with grace poise and pride and doing something about lung cancer---

so sorry for your pain, but your wonderful memories of your Dad will get you through the heartache--

happy birthday in heaven to your Dad

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Candy, I know yesterday was also a rough day for you. Birthdays and holidays seem to really take a toll on us after losing a loved one! You know, I really like the idea that all of our loved ones are together and happy that we are still here together...sort of like a cozy little family...looking out for each other! Candy, sometimes I dim the lights, get a glass of wine, play some soft music and can almost feel Dennis here with me. Guess it's my way of keeping him close! I just know Hugh is watching over you with love!!!!

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I am sorry that you had to go through this. It was hard to watch as your fathers health diminished in those last days and is also hard to see you suffer the holidays. I love you and am here for you with whatever you need. I know that it is often hard for you to talk with me about your father and the related feelings and just want you to know that I am aware of your pain. I cannot say I know how you feel but can only imagine and try to help you through.

Love you


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I read all of your posts and had tears in my eyes. Rick, husbands like you are such a God-send. You remind me a lot of my husband and I don't know what I'd do without his love and support at this time. You and Katie are so connected and it is moving and inspiring. All of you are such strong and wonderful people. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Anne, your words are perfect.

Happy Birthday Jesse, Happy Birthday Hugh.

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Thank you all so much for posting. I cried when I wrote that and I cried again today when I realized how many friends I have with HUGE hearts.

God Bless you all this new year with answered prayers and renewed health.

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Katie, I am so sorry that between the holidays and your dads birthday that things have been so hard for you. It is supposed to be a time of fun and joy, and I am so sorry that there is so much pain as well. I agree that I think that our loved ones are together now. Celebrating Jesse and Hughs birthdays.

I understand how you felt about having your dads birthday card so far in advance, and then bringing it to the cemetary. Two Saturdays ago I was wrapping all of the Christmas gifts that we had for everyone, and when I got to wrapping my dads, I started to cry uncontrolably. I don't know why, but I had this awful feeling that Daddy would never get my present-he really wasn't doing so badly at this point, but the fear was so strong.

Anyway, last tuesday, after he passed, my mother-my sister and I were talking about how Daddy did NOT want to be layed out in a suit. His words were, "noone would recognise me, and suits aren't comfortable." So, dad was laid out in the Christmas present that I got him. A nice pull over, really soft, polo shirt and a pair of black sweatpants (straght legs-no elastic). I brought it to my moms all wrapped, and I remembered that feeling I had three days before, when I'd wrapped them. But, Daddy got them after all, and they looked really nice and also comfortable on him. He looked the same as we all rememberd him. So it was nice.

My point is, your dad knows. He knows how much you love him and he knows how you are feeling. He is with you, in your heart, in your memories and in spirit. He wants you to be comforted. I hope that you know that he is with you, always. I wish I knew how to get through this, but I'm new at it myself. Just when I think I've got a grip on things, something brings the fact that I am never going to see my father on this Earth again right to the surface and the sadness pours over me. Most of the time, I feel comforted. Comforted by the faith that my father had, the faith that he would be with God and be "alright"...that's what he kept saying, during the illness, that when he dies -"don't worry about me, I'll be alright-you enjoy your life, I'm fine." He knew he'd be with God. And his faith so strengthened mine.

Katie, your dad is there, too. And we WILL see them again, the daddies girls WILL see their fathers again, someday. All of us that have lost a loved one to this terrible disease, or in any other way, we WILL all be together again...someday.

I wish I could help more, I'm sorry if this upsets you in any way. I just wanted to let you know that I really believe that your daddy IS so very proud of you, and he wants you to be happy as much now as he did when he was alive. He loved you, he still does. Remember. Deb

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Oh Katie.....

I'm so sorry for your pain. Christmas followed so closely by a birthday....

no time to catch your breath between.

Happy Birthday Jessee, here is hoping my dad shakes your hand and the two of you exchange stories as your daughters are doing down here.

With much sadness....

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I'm so sorry to know you are in pain.... My thoughts are with you.

Mr. Dewey happy Birthday...Your daughter is a wonderful person who is honoring your memory and loving others by making sure that we keep fighting for Lung Cancer and making a difference in all of our lives.

Thankyou Katie (Hugs)

God bless you Katie and Rick


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Katie -

Hugs to you. And birthday wishes Jessie.

I'm doubtin' that they celebrate their birthdays in Heaven at all! I want to think EVERY day is a big celebration there! And I'm sure they all look down and cheer each time they see one of us begin to come out of the fog. I think their celebrations are for all OUR milestones. For if they are in a wonderful place, as we believe they are, then the only thing they have to be sad about is looking down at our pain. They must be saying "oh, if you only knew -- we're fine here -- come on, try and enjoy life -- we want to see you happy".

Easier said than done, of course. I've already been through birthdays for my daughter, myself, and my husband since his death Sept 1, plus of course Thanksgiving and Christmas. Oh, it does hurt.

My daughter is also "Daddy's Little Girl" and heartbroken. She stuck by us and was strong through everything and always with us after his diagnosis -- just like KatieB! You have so much to be proud of.

Rick, your post is wonderful. It was always hard for my husband and I to talk about such things too, but I would write to him my feelings in an e-mail or a card. He seldom responded in words, but would always let me know he'd read it and appreciated it.

Hoping for a cure for all the cancer survivors and easing of the heart's pain for those of us who have lost loved ones.


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