michellep Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 I don't know half the time whether I'm coming or going these past weeks. I can wake up in the morning feeling okay and then suddenly out of nowhere comes the pain and endless tears. I can't control it....they just keep flowing. I'm currently on about 4-5 meds daily for depression and panic attacks but I don't know if they really do anything. Perhaps I would be much worse without them, which is hard to imagine. My religious belief is that if a person commits suicide it's an unforgivable sin in the eyes of the lord and that you will never be able to be joined with your loved ones....ever. And it's this belief that keeps me going each and every day. But, I feel like I have no purpose in life now, so why doesn't he just come and take me? I pray to him for that each and every day. I suppose only he knows the answer as to why I must stay and endure this endless pain. Maybe I did something in my life at some point where the lord believes I need to suffer.....endlessly. I don't know...........I just don't know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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