Sipping Vodka....Might Be A Wee Bit Offensive

[Ann]

Sipping Vodka....a funny. Might be offensive .

A new Priest at his first Mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After Mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done.

The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, i put a glass of Vodka next to the glass of water. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So, next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink, He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the Mass, he found the following note on the door.

#!, Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

#2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

#3. There are 12 Disciples, not 10.

#4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

#5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his a$$.

#6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

#7. The father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook,

#8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the $hit out of him.

#9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his a$$.

#10. We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T'.

#11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for this is my body". He did not say "Eat me."

#12. The recommended Grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub, thanks for the Grub.

#13. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peters. Not a peter pulling at St. Taffy's.

[RandyW]

That s a good one Ann!!

[michellep]

Funny how I had to open this one first based on the title. Vodka is my favorite alcohol, but I think I better learn to keep ,u mouth shut while drinking it now huh? LOL

[creekgirlsc]

Ann.....

That was a hoot! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

My son in law is Catholic & I used to send him Catholic/Nun/Priest jokes which he told me he doesn't even read.....just deletes them.

I sent this one on to him begging him to read it & substitute "Episcopal Priest' instead. Maybe then he'll enjoy reading it.

Creekgirl