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Need to VENT....anyone listening????


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I am so upset and needed to vent, so here I am!!! As I posted earlier, it was all set up that my husband was going to a rehab facility near my house. I was so relieved that he was doing well and was going to be close home. As of last night at 9:30, everything was a go. Well, he just called me and told me that he's not going to rehab and is being sent home today. I just don't believe this!!! Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to having him home...when he's ready. The nurse said he is walking too well this morning and doesn't need to be in rehab. So....that's the way it's going to be!!! What has me upset is that there is still a ton of things to get ready at my house before I bring him home. He has to have medical equipment delivered. When I talked to the nurse, she had a very "don't give a S***" attitude when I asked her when this would be delivered and answered me "oh...maybe today." Well, unfortunately we are not wealthy and I have to work for a living. Was someone just going to show up at my house and assume that someone would be home? Also, We have a golden retriever and this is going to be an issue in addition to the fact that I have to go to work or I don't get paid!!! Of course, she stated that none of these were "medical issues." So, I'm so upset and angry that I'm literally shaking. My husband has Medicare since retirement and in addition, we pay a lot of money every month for supplemtal insurance through a private carrier. But...I have a feeling this is all about the insurance.

Now...the pity party part. Since Tuesday, I have been up at 6:00 every day, working and then going to the hospital and staying until late. Then, I go home, do what chores I have to do and finally fall in bed after midnight. I was looking so forward to maybe having a couple of hours this weekend to just rest. Now, I'm automatically thrust into the position of going home after work and beginning my second job as a nurse!!! I'm really not complaining about taking care of my husband....just so tired that I'm ready to collapse and am sitting here in tears.

How could he be walking so much better since last night that would cause this sudden change in plans??? Also, he's on Coumadin and has to have blood work every other day. How am I going to keep my job and manage to take him for this???

Thanks for listening.


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Hi Ann,

What did his Doc say? It doesn't sound like a good idea for him not to get rehab for his new knee. He needs phys. therapy does not he? A nurse saying "oh he's walking pretty good", doesn't sound like a sound medical opinion to me. I'd call his doc and raise He**! That just doesn't make any sense!


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The RN contacted the doctor and the doctor is ordering in-home therapy and a visiting nurse. No one seems to understand my concerns here. Tanner weighs 100 pounds and is very active. When my family visits, I usually have to let him outside before they arrive, because he gets so excited to have company and he often will jump on them. I'm just trying to picture my husband, at home alone, trying to manage Tanner, open the door and handle all this less than a week after surgery.

Maybe I'm over reacting but I just want him to be injured duriong all of this.

On top of everything, now my husband has an attitude because he says he feels like I don't want him to come home.

I feel like a volcano.......

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One thing I learned very quickly during my husbands journey is that "anything medicare covers, the insurance MUST comply". When he needed to go to rehab the same thing happened to me. They wanted to send him directly home, so I go on the phone with medicare, got the information that it was indeed covered by them. I got her name and called the hospital and informed them that since this is covered by medicare I refuse to accept him being sent home. They made arrangements immediately and he was in the rehab facility that evening. They will try to pull every trick in the book Ann.....don't let them! Call 1-800-MEDICARE now pls?

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Omg Ann, I'm hearing you. Never mind the fight with medicare and insurance, it sounds like your husband wants to come home. The fact that he's moved into that you don't want him to come home mode is a real problem and an emotional time bomb for you.

As far as side-stepping pt, I would think him "walking well" would be irrelevant to no one being there all day so soon after therapy. People have to work. Fact of life. We'll be here for you while you fight your way through this. Hope you had Ativan or something so you at least get some sleep before all this happens(ed). Checked the date of your post. Don't know how I missed it. I always check the posts since my last visit. Sweet lady, hope you are doing o.k.


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Dear Anne,

I am so sorry that you are going through this and I wish I had not only some wisdom for you but some answers as well.

It pulls at my heart strings as I could very easily end up in a similar situation and it has often crossed my mind.

I too work outside the home and we put a huge dent in our savings for me to take 3 months off and go with Ron when he first went through treatment.

This is not something that would be easy to do again and to amplify the problem by Ron actually thinking I didn't want him home would be a breaking point for me.

Up here where I am, at our centre, they are trying to treat the cancer patient and the cancer patient's family as a whole as they recognize that it is a disease that deeply affects the whole family and I would hope that dealing with life's necessities such as working to pay the bills, keep up health insurance, stay sane, etc., etc., would be recognized as a priority but obviously there is a lot of work to be done there.

This is a problem that will continue to get worse as younger and younger people end up with lung cancer and other cancers. I accept the fact that if the situation were reversed and I was the one with the cancer, that a fact of life would be Ron continuing to daily work and that I will have to manage a fair amount on my own but at this time can't even imagine how we would cope.

As it is, we consider Ron a luckier one as he is back to work, it has not been easy as he tires and will soon be 64 but he is the one with the benefits and because he had good benefits they were able to "rehabilitate" him and exert a lot of pressure on him to return to the work force full time as insurance companies have yet to recognize or be able to measure the long lasting after effects of treatment.

I hope that you are able to persevere in finding a solution that leaves you feeling safe about your husband while you continue to be the bread winner. You don't need any extra stress! Best wishes and good luck.


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