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My dad has passed


Lynnie

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I'm not sure how many of you remember me, I have not posted since January. My dad was diagonsed November 2, 2009 with Stage 4 lung cancer. By the time he was diagnosed it had already spread through out his body, including stomach, liver, kidneys, adrenal glands, spine and brain. He underwent 10 days of radiation followed by 2 rounds of chemo. At Christmas time we discovered his brain tumor hadn't shrunk and on Christmas Eve he underwent brain surgery to have it removed. Since surgery it had been one thing after another. Almost like his brain didn't remember how to send out the right signals to his body. My dad had been in and out of the hospital since then. The first week of February really started his decline. For the most part he stopped eating and drinking. About a week later he was in and out of being lucid. Always upbeat though. He could no longer do chemo, he just wasn't strong enough. The last day he was out of bed his care facility put on a "Day of Disney" so he could "take" my daughter to Disneyland.... a dream of his. It was such a wonderful party and meant the world to us. That was first week of Feb. The last month of his life we made sure to always be with him. One of us always staying the night with him as well. It was hard to watch the decline of such a big strong man but what an honor to be there with him. On Feb 26 my dad was no longer able to communiate in any way. We would hold his hand and talk to him and let him know it was ok to go. He held on until March 4th when he quietly stopped breathing in the early evening. He never complained of pain and we had hospice to help the final month of his life. He would always say to me "its ok sweetie, I'm going to beat this". And in his way he did. He left on his terms, 2 weeks later then they expected him to. My dad was a huge trivia buff and I like to think of him up there excitedly learning the answers to all our unanswered questions that those of us living still have. I miss him every minute.... at times I can't catch my breath. This Saturday we are having a Mass and Celebration of Life for him. On Monday we will be laying him in his final resting place at the National Cemetery where he will receive full military honors. My dads name is Timothy Meng and lung cancer isn't what he was it was what took him from all he loved. He loved cooking, traveling, telling stories, war movies, even musicals. He could sit for hours and listen to Big Band music. He loved giving to others. He loved life! Nothing came before his family. I can still see his face the moment I told him he was going to be a grandpa. He loved my little girl in a way that only papa's do. He was a gentle man and a smile was always on his face. I'll miss him all the days of my life.

Its not goodbye daddy, I will see you again.

Your Lynnie

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Lynnie, The cancer can take away from us many things but it can never steal the love or the memories, that we have for our loved ones!!!

My thanks to your father for his service and my thoughts prayers and condolences to you and the family at this difficult time!

I am glad your father was with his loved ones in his final days!!

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Lynnie, what a beautiful telling of your father's gentle nature and the love he had for his family and his family for him. I know you will miss him desparately in the months ahead. May the goode memories outweigh the memory of his decline. It's hard to watch but you all were with him to the end. Thanks for letting us know.

Judy

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  • 2 weeks later...

Lynnie - I am so horribly sorry for the loss of your dad. What a wonderful tribute to him - your words of deep love and respect...he sounds like such a special man.

I will say a special prayer for your dad Timothy at Mass on Saturday. Peace be with you and yours.

Hugs,

Linda

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Lynnie.... so so sorry to hear the passing of you beloved dad. You told a beautiful story of him and I could undertantd why they call it a celebration of his life. As yes, he was so much more than just a having this dreadful disease.

His memories will live on through you and all lhis loved ones.

My heart to yours.,

Maryanne :cry:

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(((Lynnie)))),

My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you. Sorry, I missed this before. Thanks for sharing your Dad with us. He sounds like he was a wonderful man and not only were you blessed to have him, he was blessed to have you, a daughter who loved him so much. I'm just so very sorry for your loss.

Hugs,

Sue

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Lynnie, I am new here, but came upon your story about your Dad. Thank you. I lost my Father when I was 37 years old, and it was horrible to go through. I miss him to this day, but have to accept what happened. He died of cancer too.

Hugs to you.

Judy

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Lynnie,

I am just catching up on reading the postings, and saw yours about your beloved Dad.

Your telling about what a wonderful, loving man he was touched me. I felt I was reading about someone I knew and probably because Bill was very like that.

It's a Celebration of Life because you have reminded us that it is not about the cancer. Bill and your Dad bore with a disease with which they tried to live, and did so with dignity.

May all of your beautiful memories of your Dad eventually fill your future days with comfort.

May you have peace. We will always miss these special gentlemen (husbands, fathers, and/or grandfathers) but it was an honor to have had them in our lives.

Barbara

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you for all your replies. Its comforting to come on here and read these. I haven't had it in me to get back on until now. SAme thing with reading through all the wonderful cards people sent to us. To those of you that have lost a loved one to this disease my heart goes out to you. And to those of you fighting this horrible disease my prayers are with you. I know what strong people you are and I hope one day we all beat this and lose no ones else to it.

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Lyn

For a long time I had trouble coming back to the site. It was all too fresh, too raw, I didn't want to hear anything about cancer. Today, more than 2 years since Bill left this earth, life is good and I hope I can be of some help to anyone who needs an ear or a hug.

Come back anytime, we'll listen.

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