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calm,cool and collected


debbie70

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hi i am new to this whole thing so please all bare with me i was dx with lung cancer in march of 2010 so far it is contained in my left lung(8cm) with no sign of spreading any farther i have read 100s of post on here and my heart goes out to each and every one of you my issue is since i have been diagnosed i feel no emotion towards the whole thing i go on with my day to day life as if the doctors never told me that i had cancer is this normal or am i going to wake up one day and just totally freak out i know that its very serious and my family and friends are all worried about me and wonder why im not more concerned about it myself is this normal ive never really been sick but watched my grandfather who i loved dearly die of lung cancer im not really sure how i should act and would really just like someone to talk to i have a hard time talking with my family and friends because i see how it distresses them

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Hi Debbie - Welcome to the board so sorry you have a need to be here. I can not answer the question regarding emotions as I have not personally had cancer. I just wanted to take a minute and welcome you and let you know that there are many ppl on this board that will have advice for you. You sound like an amazingly strong woman and I will add you to my prayer chain.

((hugs))

Heidi

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Live your life the way you want ! Dont let the cancer live your life! My late wife painted the interior of the house painted portraits and went to school and took classes for Art as well as trips and worked when she wanted to! SHe had her own car for a while even though we were on a tight budget!! IF she wanted to go some where we went ! within reason of course!

Thats just my 2 cents in there!!!

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Debbie,

Do I take it from your "70" that you are 40 this year? Damn this disease. Anyway, you don't have to feel any special way, but do take care of your needs. 8cm is no laughing tumor. Can you fill us in on some details - like how it was discovered, if you've had a biopsy, treatment, overall health?

We all have our own stories, as you've read. I just hope you aren't ignoring what you need to do. And that does not mean I have an answer for you. Sounds like it can be surgically removed and it would sure help to have friends and family around to help out, even if you can handle the emotional side yourself.

Please let us know more - we are are open to any kind of discussion, with lots of hope and hugs.

PS - depending on where you, many hospitals have oncology social workers - some great, some not so. Here they don't charge for their services! They can be really helpful in navigating the road and dealing with well meaning friends.

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in the first week of march i was having chest pains which i associated with a cold i was getting over and then i started coughing up blood so i went to the hospital er and they did a lung x ray which showed something and they also did a ct scan which showed a large pulmonary mass on my left lung turns out a had pneumonia which they treated me for and most of the pain went away two weeks later i had a pet scan which was positive and then in may i had a bronchoscopy and turns out the tumor is laying on one of my airways almost closing it off i am waiting on the results of the biopsy in the meantime i have talked with the thorasic surgeon and she said that they will more than likely have to take out my whole lung as it is laying against my pulmonary artery as soon as i get results back from biopsy i have to have brain scan and then surgery so i guess its just a waiting game i have seen pulmonary spec. have had breathing test to see if i can function with just one lung and seen onc and thoracic surgeon they have stated that it is cancer for sure this is a 8cm size tumor which they say is big but i dont really know they are amazed that i am in such great health for a tumor of that size and it hasnt spread so i consider myself blessed cancer or not

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Debbie, it is remarkable to have a tumor of this size not causing more problems. Count those blessings! I will tell you I was pretty nonchallant about my diagnosis. My family had so many people that got this disease, that it was pretty much not if but when.

But I did get serious once I found out I had it. I made sure I had multiple opinions, even flying myself to Mayo on my own dime. And then we had the surgery, chemo, and stuff. Your life will change now, but if you have a good attitude, you can come out a winner.

I wish you the best.

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Hi, Debbie, welcome to the group.

...my family and friends are all worried about me and wonder why im not more concerned about it...

You might be interested in reading this, where I tried to answer the same question for myself back in 2006:

viewtopic.php?p=258836#p258836

We have many members who have had a lung removed and done very well. And as you're probably aware, the left lung is the smaller of the two (2 lobes instead of 3 to make room for the heart), so removing it would eliminate less than half of your current breathing capacity. It's definitely in your favor that your current condition ("performance status") is excellent.

May I suggest that you also visit cancergrace.org (GRACE — Global Resource for Advancing Cancer Education). GRACE is led by Dr. Howard "Jack" West, a Seattle oncologist who is an internationally-recognized expert on lung cancer and who gives high priority to promptly answering questions online. A lot of us are "dual citizens" and have the same usernames there as here. Aloha,

Ned

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Hi Debbie,

Welcome. When they found a spot on my lung, I went home and told my Mom and I cried. That was the only time I cried. During my treatment I just emotionally shut down, that's what I had to do to get through it. So yes, to me you are perfectly normal. Since my treatment ended my emotions have started coming out about the whole cancer deal. But during I just kept a really locked downed tight focus on what I had to do next. Glad you found us!

Dana

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Hi Debbie - sorry you had need to join, but sure glad you found us.

I can tell you from my experience that at the beginning and up until shortly after surgery I was afraid, but very in control of my emotions because I didn't want to upset my family. It was after my surgery that I started acting obsessive - I made up an entire binder (complete with index) on my type of cancer. I was doing this secretly (my husband and kids had no idea) and when I pulled out this monstrosity of a binder at my 3 month appointment and started asking dozens of questions I can still see the shock on both my husband and the surgeon's face. So, while I was quite capable as going through each day with people thinking I was "amazingly strong" or had "such a great attitude" I was falling apart inside.

Perhaps right now you are still in shock from the diagnosis or perhaps this is just how you deal with stress. Either way no one is right or wrong, or normal or abnormal - it just is "us" and our own individual journey.

You have found a safe place to discuss what you are feeling (or not, whatever the case may be) and we will listen, or prop you up, or send you cyber hugs when needed.

Looking forward to hearing from you more.

Linda

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Hi Debbie,

Welcome to LCSC,you really are off to a flier in finding this site so quickly,took me over a year,dont know how I would have managed to cope otherwise,I have so many new supportive friends here who put up with my long winded postings,which are therapy to me,keeping my brain active on something positive,I also get so much reading the postings of others a real kaleidoscope of topics that are funny,sad,thoughtful and informative.

Absolutely great you have handled your dx so well,dont waste your time trying to anyalise your reaction,accept the fact you are blessed,and the fact that your cancer is contained in the lung with no spread certainly gives you an edge.I am looking forward to getting to know you,so post away its great fun.

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  • 2 months later...

Hey Debbie,

Just wondering how you are. For some reason, your post showed up in my email box today even through there have been no updates since May. However, I never take a post for granted and assume it showed up for a reason.

So how are you? The last time you posted, they had found this tumor, and were contemplating surgery. It's been a few months. How are you? How did you do with surgery? Was there chemo or radiation afterwards? How are you emotionally.

Please update us! We care.

Judy in MI

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Funny how we are meeting like this KW Judy! LOL! Mentally I'm doing great! Things are fantastic. Still fiddling with medication to help with the stinky spasms, but trying to stay positive and optimistic.

See my Onc. this week for the six month thing. No CT scan though. Had one in January because of a horrid cough I had, so he does not want me to have another one until next January, which is fine with me!

Judy in MI

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