Update on My Mother in Law

[ashmegsmom]

I just wanted to update you all on my mother in laws condtition, I first want to thank everyone for there responses to my first post a few days ago!!

As of now my MIL is still in the hospital and has gone from what we thought was bad to worse. She can no longer talk really and is so very weak she cannot even drink from a straw, The nurse even hinted last night that she could go at any time throughout the night!!???? She has gone through such a dramatic change in such a little time. We were supposed to just try chemo this morning , but the doc says he thinks it is bad idea, but we have left it up to her on whether or not to do chemo. She sleeps 90% of the time now, but isnt medicated, So her doctor doesnt seem to think she will last through the week, This is so very sad for everyone, because most of you that responsed said to Fight. And to fight is what we really want to do, because we love her so much!!! But how at this point do we Fight?? No one wants to do the wrong thing, but we dont want her to suffer either, SHe is so miserable, and doesnt understand why this is happening so Fast and neither do we!!! The docs did an MRI on Friday to check her brain and said everything was fine. So far we only know that she just has a small spot on her lungs and that is spread to her liver, but that her liver is covered! Is this possible? This is the same person who carried my daughters 4th birthday cake to her to blow the candles out on on Dec 20th!! The one who made a huge Christmas Dinner on Christmas Day! Please someone tell me if you have ever seen or experienced this kind of thing. I hope it is okay to post this, I dont know where else to turn. This board has been very informative and supportive Thank you!!!

Also I would like to post a pic of her with her family could someone please tell me how I can do that!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!!

Crystal

[shirleyb]

Crystal,

I don't have any answers for you. I am so sorry your mother is not doing well. All I can suggest is to be with her, talk to her, touch her, and let her know you are there and that you love her.

You are all in my prayers.

Wishing you enough....

Much love,

Shirley

[Guest]

Dear ashmegsmom,

I have not been on this website since Dec. 10th, but after hearing your story I just had to reply.

My Dad was a self-employed CPA, and last April developed a cold that he couldn't shake. He finally went to the doctor and got an antibiotic for a sinus infection. He still felt crummy so he went to the doctor again. He did a chest x-ray and told him he had pneumonia. Again, another antibiotic. He started feeling nausea and did not feel any better. He felt so bad on May 31st that he went to the ER. They couldn't find anything wrong and told him he was probably just having a reaction to the antibiotic. Four days later he went to ER again. At this point, he isn't able to go to work. Our family is wondering what is wrong with him. June 4th in ER they tell him his liver enzymes are high and they are going to do a cat scan. At 8:30 that night, my mother calls me first (I have a younger sister and older brother), and she says "it's not good honey, it's cancer".

I fell to the floor and started crying saying "my life is over". That sounds so selfish now. My dad was only 63 and my mom is 61. They have been married for 41 years.

He started chemo on June 17th, and was so sick before he even started. It turns out he had exactly what your mother-n-law has. Small cell lung cancer that had spread to his liver. In early April he was doing walk races and working out, and in June he could hardly get out of his chair. We were in shock.

He did chemo until October 7th. He was so sick June and July. Then in August he started eating real food and got stronger. By September, he was going back to work and feeling good. In October he had 2 cat scans. The last one reported that his lungs were clear, and the spots on his liver were just little fuzzy dots. It looked like we had a miracle. Starting in November he started to feel weak again and chalked it up to the fact that he went off prednizone (sp?) which is a steroid that he was taking while on chemo. He finally went to the doctor Dec. 2 because he was feeling so crummy again. They did some blood tests and put him back on prednizone. Over that weekend he went down hill rapidly. I was frantic. I was going to take him down to the Houston cancer center. I talked to someone Monday Dec. 9th about getting him down there asap. I just could not believe that the cancer had come back so quickly.

The next day on Dec. 10th, my mother couldn't even get him out of his chair. We had to call an ambulance. He went to ER at 10:00 a.m. and we could see that he was having to work at breathing. They did some kind of scan and said that he had a blood clot in his lung. They started him on medication. As the day progressed I still had hope that the cause of his labored breathing and swollen legs was the blood clot. Then they told us he had acid in his blood. At 1:40 a.m. my father passed away. His 64th birthday would have been Dec. 21. He took my children to a movie Thanksgiving weekend and was gone a week and half later. They put hypotension and lung cancer on his death certificate. It drives me nuts not knowing what actually happened. I am sorry this is so long, but it is kind of therapy for me.

So, yes it can happen that quickly. I feel lucky to have a had a couple of good months with him since he was diagnosed. I feel blessed that he went quickly and painlessly. I have been hearing so many sad stories about cancer. The pain people go through, and also many many years of it.

Don't give up though please! My dad never asked how long he had. He was such a happy and positive person. He wanted to do chemo, and he was very very sick. The chemo worked well with him. I just think that he had complications that none of the doctors told us could happen. Had I known that blood clots are common in chemo patients, I would have made him go to ER sooner. It is so easy to look back and say "what if". It has been very hard, but every day it gets a little easier. Ask a lot questions. That is one thing my parents never did. They just did what the oncologist told them.

Please let us know how your mother-n-law is doing. I will be praying for you. I have been doing a lot of praying lately.

Kathy

[DeanCarl]

Crystal,

I, too, have no answers to offer. With all the different kinds of lung cancer and with each individual's situation being a bit different there just doesn't seem to be a "formula" to plug into. I wish there were, for all our sakes.

My prayers are with you and your Mother-in-Law.

Dean

[Lyn]

Hi Crystal,

I'm so sorry about your MIL. My heart goes out to you. I know a few people I work with lost their loved ones to cancer and it seems that the cancer of the liver can really take people more quickly than other forms. One girl's sister was gone within a week or two of them finding it in her liver. It had recurred from previous breast cancer. The onc told me small cell grows very rapidly, too. My mother's tumor doubled in three weeks and filled her whole lung! Thank God it is shrinking and we caught her's fairly early. Hang in there and lean on God. God bless,

Lyn

[berisa]

I am so sorry for things happen so quickly, my dad also experiences the unusual pace of mets bcoz he was dx with limited SCLC that the median survival is around 18 - 24 mths. How come the mets is happened so quickly?? I don't understand as well and every day seems like uncertain, everyday will worry about his condition. This Small Cell is really horrible.

I understand what you feel. I will keep you in my prayers.