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3 Friends


ginnyde

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I now have 3 friends battling lc. One with ext. small cell and she is doing well. One with BAC and is basically doing well but has a permanent drain (for now) in her chest. And the latest one has Stage IV NSCLC with mets to her brain, lymph nodes, adrenal glands and bones. Was golfing 3 days before she had a seizure which then led to them finding the cancer. This is exactly what happened to the Duke.

I have lost too, too many family, friends and cyber friends from this insidious disease. It seems that there are some strides forward in battling lc and more and more media attention.

Again, just last week, when I told someone my husband died from lc, they asked if he smoked. I get a little 'testy' at that question.

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I know what you mean testy about that question. I have no problem telling anyone who asks and/or will listen that I have lung cancer. Yes, I smoked until the day of diagnosis - then I go off on my statistic speak about the number of great people who stopped years ago, got smoke only second hand, never smoked, etc. and truthfully - I would like to tell them - with their noses stuck so high up in the air I'd bet they have some smoke in there somewhere - and where there's smoke there just might be fire......

Annette

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Hi Ginny,

Sorry to hear about your friends,I also stopped smoking Annette on the the day of my dx,regetting that I ever started of course.It is unfortunate that an attitude that prevails here in the UK at not only the general public level here but also at the highest levels of government and medical professionals,that LC is largely a self inflicted disease.This is self evident that in the UK in that 34000 citizens die each year from LC,which is more than all the other common cancers here put to-gether,and yet the funds allocated from the global sum available in the UK towards cancer research is only 4%.It is the hypocracy of the Government,who rake in Billions? in tobacco taxes which is used to fund so much of their public programmes,and yet give scant notice of the needs of the citizens who have provided this money.If the Government were really serious about LC maybe they could make smoking illegal,no thank you they would rather keep things the way they are,probably thinking maybe the Americans will come to the rescue?

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That question- that stigma- is what has fuelled me the last 8 years.

Of course it makes me mad, and with every question comes the opportunity to educate the person making the ignorant or insensitive comment.

We aren't moving moutains by educating people one at a time, but if each of us did it, if we helped make the walks and events HUGE so that our voices would be heard, if we appeal to the media and seek the attention lung cancer deserves, then maybe one day there will no longer be a question, but a cure.

I hope.

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Ginny, so sorry about your friends. While I was at the mall in PSL I made another contribution to that education of one person at a time. I took the high road and told her nicely what she needed to know about how people w/lc feel when the question is asked. She seemed very receptive. She was a smoker and don't think she'll ask again. She may even tell someone else about our view.

Judy in KW

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Deep breaths Ginny, deep breaths. Like Katie B said, I usually take the opportunity to explain to them that many people with lung cancer never smoked or had any risk factors whatsoever. Of course, and this is why you love me, somedays my irish temper is running a little hot and BANG, I lay into them with a what kind of insensitive A...hole asks that kind of a question. It's frustrating as heck.

As for the number of friends and family who are affected by any cancer, I too am stunned. It seems as if every couple of months, someone I know gets diagnosed with some form of cancer or another. It's disheartening, and as unfortunate as this may sound, I'm no longer even shocked by it because it happens (as it seems to me) entirely too often to too many good people for no good reason.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm with ya, and I understand. I hope that it all goes well for all of them...And if the newly diagnosed friend needs any encouragement, just show them Col's statistics. She had esstianlly the same dx.

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Ginny, I am also sorry about your friends. But statistics run more in favor of us getting cancer than not. In Michigan, 1 in 3 men will be diagnosed with cancer, and 2 in 4 women. Keeping that in mind, I am no longer in shock when someone tells me they have cancer. 3 of 7 in my immediate family died from cancer.

As for the question, I hate it too. It's wrong. And I've learned through the others here how to educate them and not feel defensive.

Judy in MI

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Ginny,

Very sorry to hear about your friends - it feels like a torrent of diagnoses this year.

Latest? I went to a class today at a Cancer Support Community. As I was walking out, I hear one of the other participants tell the instructor "When my brother got lung cancer, well that's what he gets for smoking..." I stopped in my tracks and stuck my head back in the door and said very sternly "You know, you can get lung cancer if you've never smoked!" And gave her a real stink eye. Should be fun to be in class with her for the next 7 weeks! I'll try to be a good educator and find out what her story is.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh, Ginny....I'm so sorry. I hope that the years between Earl's diagnosis and that of your friend have given her more options in the fight and a longer life expectancy.

I still miss your posts on the Duke of Earl, as I am sure, 100%, that you miss posting them, chapter after chapter.

xxoo,

Becky

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey Ginny,

I know the feeling. My mom pasted of LC in February. That question makes the hair on my arms stand up, espically when it's the first question out of there mouth. I love the phrase, Cancer is a word not a sentence. My 35 yr. old cousin, who is dying as we speak of brain cancer. Such a great kid. Please keep him in you prayers.

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