ronvrens Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 On Monday 26 July it was my birthday. Although everyone at work wished me well and were friendly the sadest part was I was actually alone. It was to have been a very special day as I turned sixty and Pat had already started making arrangements for a special event even while she was so sick in hospital. I have decided that the festivities will be postponed until next year when I will backdate my birthday. All the people from my department arranged a special secretive dinner for me. I appreciated this as I thought I was in for a lonely evening. As I have now accepted the house in Ladysmith as home I have started to make my room more homely and have hung some pictures of Pat and the family on the walls. This has made a great difference as I can see her whenever I enter the room. There have been good days lately and there have been days when I miss her so much it hurts. Ronnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 A belated Happy Birthday. I'm so glad your co-workers rallied round you. I think backdating your BD for next year is a great idea. It also reflects the optomism that things will get better. Glad to hear you are adjusting and not living alone. Judy in KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric byrne Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Hi Ronnie, Happy Birthday,good to hear from you again,bet you really enjoyed the suprise birthday party thrown by your work buddies,isnt it great to have these guys rooting for you,well you can add me to that number.I just know that next years birthday is going to be umpteens better than this years,so start planning now, to have a brilliant time.Look after yourself,hear from you soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ts Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sweet music to hear you say there have been good days lately. While each day is the one you need to show up for, the good ones make that a heck of a lot easier. Happy belated Birthday and may this year be full of unexpected riches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronvrens Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 Arrived home in Durban for our long pay weekend. Brought the jackal with and it was not as much of a problem as I expected. I gave her a small tranquiliser injection and it helped almost all the way. About 20 minutes from home the need to visit the toilet became evident as she started to fiddle. Arrived to a very lonely house. This is hard as Pat was always at the door to greet me as I drove in. Everything was so quiet as there was no radio or television on. I settled and fed the old lady jackal and went shopping for some necesities. I was invited to supper by a very good friend and caregiver of my wife. Returning to the house and facing a lonely night was not so nice as it was also a Thursday which reminded me of the last evening with Pat. I eventually fell asleap but woke up early and then got up and did some necessary chores. My two daughters and my younger sister are on the way from Johannesburg and should be here about 8 this evening. I am looking forward to them being here with me. We will be going for a harbour cruise dinner tomorrow evening for my birthday. All the little things I see to remind me of Pat still brings a lot of sadness but I am starting to accept that she is gone and now I see the beauty of our relationship especially in photos and her possessions. I think this weekend is just what I need. To be with the family and not strangers all the time. Well thanks for listening and all the help Ronnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Ronnie Pat is right over you watching down and smiling on you every day and night! Hang in there and try to think about the great times more so than the bad ones. I know how hard this is right now!! hang in there!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joppette Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Hi Ronnie, Well, you sound like you are doing well. Of course there are going to be sad days, but you are starting to have good days. You are cherishing the good memories, and have pictures out of her. These are all signs of healing. So that is good. I'm glad the kids are coming tonight to celebrate the big 6 0!. A harbor cruise sounds like a delightful way to spend it. Enjoy that time with them. Happy birthday Ronnie. Judy in MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronvrens Posted August 1, 2010 Author Share Posted August 1, 2010 Went out on the harour cruise. Wow what a surprise. The family and friends really went out of their way to make it special. The mood was great and the food was exceptionally good. Got a lot of interesting presents but the highlight is a flight in a Pitts special aerobatic plane. This was planned by Pat and the children some time ago. They all know how I love anything to do with flying. Pat was in my thoughts all last night and I know she was happy with everything that the children did to make last night special and in honour of her. The family all go back home today and then its only me and the Jackal until tomorrow when I take her for a check up and then its home to Ladysmith. Ronnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 Ronnie, how wonderful that your children gave you such a special birthday. It's a tribute to their love and respect for their parents and a tribute to your relationship with their mother that they followed through with her plans. Sad as being alone when they leave will be, you are a lucky man to have them in your life. Judy in KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric byrne Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 Hi Ronnie, Really pleased for you having such a great night out with your family and friends,by co-incidence,my sister got me a flying lesson for my 60th last year,it was really fun,I took quite a few photos durning the flight as a momento-so dont forget to take your camera,you might even post some here,for us to share? Dont think my stomach could take the aerobatics though-enjoy yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronvrens Posted August 18, 2010 Author Share Posted August 18, 2010 Its 2 months today since Pat suddenly left. The pain for the past few days has once again become almost unbearable as I long for her. The lonliness is the worst thing as I do not have much of a social circle here in Ladysmith. Once again thanks for all the support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 So sorry for the emotional dip. Anniversaries will do that to you. Hope you climb back up out of the profound loneliness soon. Judy in KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joppette Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Hi Ronnie, The firsts are the worst. The firsts of each month, then year, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays. Expect to feel pain at these firsts. I'm so sad you must go through this, but like Randy said, talk to her. Tell her how your day is going, communicate with her for she is not gone, she has moved to the other side and she can hear you. Judy in MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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