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Home alone and hoping


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Good day all.

I arrived home yesterday for the month end pay weekend. I felt a bit apprehensive at first to be alone but after settling in and sorting out the Jackal I actually felt better. I think one of my problems is the longing to be home.

Had a good nights sleep. Of course thuoght abouy Pat and saw all the little things we shared.

Theres so much to do here as when a home is not lived in for a while it becomes almost somber and morbid.

I need to be at my own home and as hard as it is without Pat I am feeling positive that I can manage and will try and look to the future in a new light.

I know that the love Pat and I shared for all those years will get me through the days ahead.

Thanks for listening


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Ronnie, another baby step in the process of healing. I am so glad you were able to do it and have the Jackal for company. Some of those many things that need doing could offer some distraction if you find yourself slipping. And talk to us when we can be of comfort.

Judy in KW

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Been very busy doing all sorts of chores and bussiness.

It is going much better than expected. There are still times I catch myself thinking about Pat and what we would be doing if she were here. Going out on a shopping trip saddens me because we so enjoyed going out even if we bought nothing.

Of course the house is quiet as there is no constant tv or radio as Pat liked it.

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Feel good today. Went to church and recieved a very warm welcome. Havent been to church in Durban for a month.

Now I know what kept Pat busy all day when she was well and looking after the house. She was a wonderful woman, wife Partner companion and looked after me so well. Thats why I miss her so much, she was everything I could ask for.

I slept like I havent slept for months. I was so relaxed and I think it was the right thing to do to come home alone and have time to think.

The longing is still there as strong as ever.

I go back to Ladysmith tomorrow and will be gone from my home for a month. I am already looking forward to it.



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Had a very good weekend and I am preparing to go back to Ladysmith. I just have to pick up my housemate at he airport, He went to Cape Town to his family, and then the trip north about 2.5 hours. I have to give the jackal a light tranquiliser injection just to relax her but its getting better. I think she sensed Pat here at home and also smelled her. She was not too happy. I think she preferes our other home.

Will post more news tomorrow.


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Hi Ronnie,

Good to hear your are getting out and about,nice to have supporting friends in the church,just what the doc ordered.

Still feeling your pain in your writing I am praying that this will ease as the days and weeks pass.

Keeping my mind busy is my way of coping in preventing myself getting down also mixing with company as often as I can also helps.I wonder if you would consider enrolling for a leisure evening class in your local college,painting is a great way to relax,learning to play guitar,not only do you develope a new skill but you will meet like minded people to share a conversation with and develope new friendships (a bit like here?)I do all of these things.I also got invited by a old friend to come and join his team at indoor carpet bowling,season restarts 7th Sept so Tuesdays and Thursdays I will be playing.

I wish you well,and look forward to reading your postings.

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